Jesus, Moses, and an old bearded guy were playing golf. On the first tee, Moses shanked his ball into a lake. He parted the water and hit his ball onto the green. Jesus teed off, hitting his ball into another water hazard. But he walked on water and stroked his ball just short of the cup. Then the old man with the beard stepped up for his tee shot. He hit the ball with tremendous force, but hooked it badly. The ball bounced off the clubhouse roof, hit the cart path, and rolled down a hill into a pond, coming to rest on a lily pad. A frog hopped over and picked up the ball, then an eagle swooped down, snatched the frog, and flew over the green. The frog dropped the ball, and it rolled into the cup for a hole in one. Moses turned to Jesus and said, "I hate playing golf with your Dad."
Even though I am not a golfer (I'm even sure what "shanked" means), but can wield a pretty wicked putt putt (miniature golf) golf club, I would really have a hard time resisting playing on a golf course like this picture. This must be close to the way they look in Heaven!
Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about the fish emulsion, but I don't know if that would qualify for tickled on Tuesday?! Maybe it will work for Wordful Wednesday?
Two more treasures:
Bartenders and waiters have heard 'em all. But what we rarely hear is someone turning down a drink. "Nah, I better not have one," said one man after I offered him a glass of wine. "I have the world's worst stomach. I eat so many antacids that if I were to keel over dead right this minute, I'd leave my own chalk outline."
One of our clients brought in his massive Doberman pinscher to be spayed. As a veterinary assistant, I escort the patient into the doctor's office. But before taking this dog's leash, I glimpsed those large teeth of hers and asked the owner, "Is she friendly?""Friendly?" said the man. "She's had five litters!"
~~Thank you Lord for the blessing of good clean jokes and the ability to laugh.
I love your 'Tickled On Tuesday'! And I'm going to send my husband here later to read the golf joke (he, my son, and my brother-in-law are avid golfers! I'm a golf widow on Saturdays during the summer!), I know I won't do the joke justice, I always mess up the punch line on jokes, so I'll have him read it himself. He'll appreciate it!
ReplyDeleteOkay, Ray read the joke and appreciated it! And he know the golf course, it's in Augusta, GA (Augusta National), it's very exclusive, he said you have to be a millionaire to play there, and then he said, "And you'll really appreciate this one - you have to be A MAN TO PLAY THERE!"
ReplyDeleteNow how's that for being tickled on Tuesday! I could not stop laughing at that one! You added to our joke without even realizing it!
Marcy I don't even play golf but that was hysterical!Thanks for the laughs.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the chuckle...should send this on to my three sons all of whom would GET the lingo! Cathy
ReplyDelete