Saturday, August 8, 2009

Savor some Household Tips

Well, "you may attract more flies with honey than vinegar", so if you're looking for lots of flies, this handy dandy cleaner may not be for you.
From the Internet...

"The versatility of vinegar makes it practically mandatory that all households have a bottle of white, and a bottle of apple cider vinegar in the pantry. And you needn’t worry about it becoming outdated or spoiling. It doesn’t spoil and can be kept indefinitely. "

Stay tuned on Monday for the whole 'vinegar cures almost everything and cleans it as well' story!!

Meanwhile, I found all these wonderful cleaning hints.....
(With Marcy observations in green.)
"--A great way to keep your fruit and veggies fresh is to wrap them in newspaper before storing them in the bottom of your refrigerator.
(Another great deal is that if you are bored while eating your veggies, you have something to read, so make sure you wrap with good news or funnies to help digestion!)

--To remove sticky labels from glass and plasticware, heat the label with a blow dryer for about 30 seconds and it should peel off easily.
(I have found that this is often not necessary as I can do alot with my own hot breath and panting after several minutes of struggling...just breathe real close to the offending label.)

--Bees and wasps will stay away from your food if you place a fresh sprig of mint on your picnic blanket.
(Since you will not always have some handy sprigs of mint, try using breath mints and if you DO get stung it will be heartening to know that they had fresh bee and wasp breath.)

--If your house smells like fish after cooking, bake a sliced lemon in a pie plate at 200 F for about 20 minutes. The smell is wonderful.

(On the practical side here, I would rather bake lemon bars or a lemon pie, but if you are into dried up and funny looking fruit in your oven...go for it...sad to say, I would probably forget about the fruit, end up with enough moisture left to cause mold and a whole new smell in the kitchen!)

--At your next garden party, put a few cans of beer around the yard. Insects will be attracted to the beer and not your guests.

(Either that or all your beer drinking guests will be 'around the yard' fighting off the insects for the beer.)

--To clean your tile floor, mix 1 cup mouthwash with a gallon of water for mopping. The floor will get cleaned and the bacteria will disappear.
(The down side to this is that the people with bad breath in your family will make you forget about your clean floor...also, most mouthwash has sugar in it, so you could get a sticky and flyful floor too...never having tried this, I will rely on the rest of you to report to me.)

--If you've burned something while cooking, boil 1 cup vinegar in 2 cups water for about 15 minutes, and the smell will be gone.
(Or you will be so overwhelmed by the vinegar smell that all worries about the burnt smell will be gone.)

--Get a good night's sleep the natural way by drinking a glass of water, then dissolving a pinch of salt on your tongue. Make sure the salt doesn't touch the roof of your mouth. Studies show a combination of salt and water can induce a deep sleep.
(Not being a 'salt on the tongue' kind of person, all I can think of is how thirsty this could make me or how I would stay awake worrying that I would have Dead Sea salt dreams...see scary shampoo below.)

--Update your cupcakes by filling a flat-bottomed ice cream cone two-thirds of the way up with cake batter. Bake in a deep-sided baking pan at 325 F for about half an hour. Frost and add sprinkles for a fun kids' treat.
(I could deal with this as I sure wouldn't want out dated cupcakes!)

--For a cheap exfoliant, wash your face with a paste made of three parts baking soda and one part water. Avoid the eye area.
(For an expensive exfoliant, don't add the water.)

--If your whites have yellowed, soak them for a couple of hours in a solution of 1/2 cup lemon juice or 1/2 cup white vinegar, then wash as usual. No need for bleach.
(Important...remember that this is in reference to clothes, NOT your eyes...will not work for jaundice.)

--Add a can of lemon-lime soda, along with your regular detergent, to extra-greasy clothes. The citrus acid breaks down the grease and your wash will sparkle.
(Personally, I'm not sure I want to be walking down the street and hear "Wow, did you see that redhead's clothes? They sparkle!" Or what if I cause an accident because my clothes sparkle while driving?)

This is a bar of Dead Sea hair shampoo...which is just sooo lovely to behold as well as a somewhat of a challenge to use....

Now for some 'normal' humor....

Cold Water Cleaning
John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Georgia.After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, "Are these plates clean?" His grandfather replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get them. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!"

For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, "Are you sure these plates are clean?" Without looking up the old man said, "I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!"

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass. John yelled and said, "Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car". Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV the old man shouted ... "COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN!"

Living With Dirt in A New But Dusty Light

DIRT: Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 15 and leave it alone.

COBWEBS: Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb,thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look confused and exclaim"What? And spoil the mood?" (Or just throw glitter on them & call them holiday decorations)

PET HAIR: Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand-sewn play animals for underprivileged children. (Also keeps out cold drafts in winter)

GUESTS: If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'd love you to see our den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive."

DUSTING: If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist that "This is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes."

GENERAL CLEANING: Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself on the couch and sigh, "I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere." As a last resort, light the oven, throw a teaspoon of cinnamon in a pie pan, turn off oven and explain that you have been baking cookies for a bake sale for a favorite charity and haven't had time to clean...Works every time.

Another favorite, I think from Erma Bombeck, always keep several get well cards on the mantle so if unexpected guests arrive, you can say you've been sick and unable to clean. If you can live in it, they can surely stand it for a 30 minute visit!"

~~~Thank You dear God for the blessings of all the different ways to make this a cleaner world, may we also keep our hearts clean.


  1. What? Do we now share a brain too?
    I was going start doing a 'Tipsy Tuesday' with household tips! And today my post is about the tip I learned for organizing clothes in dresser drawers!
    I loved all your tips and I especially loved your input!! They were funnier than the jokes (although I did love the cobweb one and I actually have done the guests one on a number of occasions)! You are too funny!
    Great job!
    Love you, E

  2. are a veritable treasure in many ways. Your tips are always great, your sense of humor is limitless, and you are such a friend to all.

  3. We must visit the same site cleaning and all...actually I even have a book of hosehold hints...but I still don't know how you come up with so many relevant jokes for your posts.
    Blogger seems to be working ok far...I need to go make macaroni salad for later, take care and have a great weekend!


  4. I think your comments are the best part of the cleaning suggestions! I'll pass on the dead sea looks a little painful!

  5. Vinegar is my cleaning God!! Also, baking soda. I use the combo to clean all of my drains. It works wonders.

    I love using green tips any time I can as it's safer for me ( i have chemical sensitivity disorder) and for my home.

    Oooh Wanda, We had mac salad last weekend. We call it noodle salad but darn if it wasn't good.

  6. I have decided that I will never make it as a stand-up comedian. Keith still hasn't heard the end of the Cold Water story because I crack up laughing long before then! The neighbours think we must be a bit crazy in our house because of the manic laughter issuing forth daily.

    Bless you for our daily dose of funny-food!

    love, Angie, xx

  7. Oh Marcy, I am still laughing....your comments are as funny as your jokes. Face it Marcy, you are a natural.....Love the tips, now tell me honestly how many of them have you tried. I like Wanda have Martha Stewart's book on household hints for everything....It did teach me how to change my lightbulbs in my my fridge, stove and dryer....have a great weekend my friend.....:-) Hugs

  8. There's no way I am leaving beer on the parameters of my parties . . . I'm too Irish for that! Ha. this stuff is brilliant!

  9. My favorite one Marcy was the last suggestion for Erma with putting out the get well cards! That is a great suggestion!
    I may not be around much this week as my hubby is home on vacation and we have lots to do. But I will stop by and read your posts! Take Care Marcy, HUGS!

  10. should write a book.

  11. I forgot to tell you Marcy that I use viniger to clean out my coffee maker and my washer!

  12. Ha ha ha! He he he! Ha ha ha! He he he! I'm losing weight on my laughter exercise program! If you get any funnier, I'll shrink down to NOTHING!

  13. Dear Marcy, You always make me smile. Thank you. I also thing it is important for everyone to share faith. All of your tips were wonderful. I hope you have a great day.


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