A flock of sheep are grazing in a field, happily going "baa baa" to each other and discussing life as usual when suddenly they hear a "moo mooooooooooooooooooo!"
They look around and see only sheep. They carry on grazing as before.
"Moooooo mooooooooooo mmmoo!"
One sheep can hear it all a little too clearly not too far from her location. She shuffles away from the conversation she was in and approaches the source of the noisemaker, a worried look covering her face.
"Georgiana, why are you mooing?" she asks. "You're a sheep. Sheep go 'baa!'"
Georgiana replies, "I know, but I thought I'd like to learn a foreign language, alot like my heroine Marcy! I understand she speaks cow, pig, horse, goldfish and tree."
A devout sheepherder lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out in the valley. Three weeks later a sheep walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The sheepherder couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the sheep's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward, and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the sheep. "Your name is written inside the cover."
A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a sheep that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the sheep and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth.
"Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out."
The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer.
"Here," he said, "is the check for $900. It's postdated six years from now."
In Texas, it's against the law for anyone to have a pair of pliers in his or her possession.
(Headline reads "Crazed person with pliers roaming the streets...lock your doors and secure your plumbing.")
In Philadelphia, you can't put pretzels in bags based on an Act of 1760.
(Instead , just open your trunk and in they go.)
Alaska law says that you can't look at a moose from an airplane.
(All moose gazing must be done in a helicopter.)
In Corpus Christie, Texas, it is illegal to raise alligators in your home.
(Gee whiz, they would have made great pals for those miniature cows and sheep.)
In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal.
(Some people aren't even trying and they still manage to sound like monkeys.)
It is against the law to mispronounce the name of the State of Arkansas in that State.
(Just head over the border and you can pronounce it Transylvania AND stick your tongue out and go nanny nanny boo boo to you.)
In Illinois, the law is that a car must be driven with the steering wheel.
(And I was having so much fun doing it with the cigarette lighter and windshield wipers.)
California law prohibits a woman from driving a car while dressed in a housecoat.
(THIS isn't fair...WHY do men get to drive in a housecoat?! Actually, I'm not a 100% on what a housecoat is...is it a coat you can only wear in the house?)
In Memphis, Tennessee, a woman is not to drive a car unless a man warns approaching motorists or pedestrians by walking in front of the car that is being driven.
(This is one VERY, VERY nice, polite, considerate and loving hubby who would NEVER do ANYTHING to upset his wife...a guy who is also a very fast runner.)
In Tennessee, it is against the law to drive a car while sleeping.
(If you're on a motorcycle or in a truck, just snooze away.)
In New York, it is against the law for a blind person to drive an automobile.
(I think they ought to demand some equal rights here...after all, what are those seeing eye dogs for anyway...one woof is turn right, two woofs turn left and three woofs means you just ran over four people on the sidewalk.)
In West Virginia, only babies can ride in a baby carriage.
(And this is one of Michael's big ambitions in life...rats.)
In Georgia, it is against the law to slap a man on the back or front.
(It's tricky, but you've got to catch him on the side.)
A barber is not to advertise prices in the State of Georgia.
(Instead you pay whatever he asks or he super glues your hair back on your head randomly.)
In Louisiana, a bill was introduced years ago in the State House of Representatives that fixed a ceiling on haircuts for bald men of 25 cents.
(Makes you wonder WHAT kind of a problem they had to enact this law?!! Were they charging by the hair?)
In Oklahoma, no baseball team can hit the ball over the fence or out of a ballpark.
(They solved this massive problem by having the fence located in Italy.)
In Rochester, Michigan, the law is that anyone bathing in public must have the bathing suit inspected by a police officer !
(Police officer to dispatch radio : "Sorry about that murder over on twenty third street...I've got three bathing suits in desperate need of inspecting.")
In Kentucky, it's the law that a person must take a bath once a year.
(They have official stink meters to see what your level of BO is and when it's over the limit, they take cattle prods and push you and a box of laundry detergent in the river.)
In Utah, birds have the right of way on any public highway.
(The penguins just LOVE this...yes, I know they don't have penguins in Utah, but they WOULD love it if they ever visited.)
In Ohio, one must have a license to keep a bear.
(Obviously, having a brain is not only NOT necessary, but frowned upon.)
In Tennessee, a law exists which prohibits the sale of bologna (sandwich meat) on Sunday.
(Oscar Mayer is gonna be really upset when they find out.)
In Virginia, the Code of 1930 has a statute which prohibits corrupt practices or bribery by any person other than political candidates.
(This MUST be where it ALL started!!!)
In Providence, Rhode Island, it is against the law to jump off a bridge.
(Jumping off tall buildings, however, is considered great sport.)
In the State of Kansas, you're not allowed to drive a buffalo through a street.
(They take up too much room in the car and are hard to get into the seat belt.)
In Florida, it is against the law to put livestock on a school bus.
(Obviously some officials thought there was livestock on them instead of rowdy kids...could be hard to tell the difference.)
In New Jersey, cabbage can't be sold on Sunday.
(Are they afraid someone will make cabbage whiskey?)
In Galveston, Texas, it is illegal to have a camel run loose in the street!
(Guess this was a problem that just grew worse...now I'm gonna worry here in GA as we have NO laws against this! If you, too, are not protected by this law, remember to keep looking carefully for camels on the loose.)
In North Carolina, it is against the law for dogs and cats to fight.
(Boy, I just wish they had a people law like this...in fact, this is one I wish could be world wide...sigh. In fact, the best law would be if someone really disgusts or upsets you, you have to give them a big smooch.)
In Singapore, it is illegal to chew gum.
(However, you can eat all the gum you want.. .I know alot of kids who must have spent time in Singapore.)
In Cleveland, Ohio, it is unlawful to leave chewing gum in public places.
(So make sure you leave in some pedestrian's pocket.)
In Virginia, chickens cannot lay eggs before 8:00 a.m., and must be done before 4:00 p.m.
(And I thought it was impressive that you could house train a mini cow...that's NOTHING compared to these babies...either that or they had ALOT of jailed chickens.)
In New York, it is against the law for children to pick up or collect cigarette and cigar butts.
(How, just how, do they expect children to have good childhood memories if they restrict them like this??)
In Massachusetts, it is against the law to put tomatoes in clam chowder.
(There IS a way around this...I say, just put clam chowder in the tomatoes! Anyone have any other problems I can solve on the spot for you?)
~~~Thank You dear Heavenly Father for the blessings of Your tiniest ones in creation, for they are treasures for us all.