Favorites...An Angel & Earring Racks

This favorite is an angel that one of the women in my grief group in Phoenix, AZ bought for everyone in our group and then specially added a red ribbon and wrote on it with gold ink. Mine says "In loving memory of my husband Mario... June 6, 2003." I was hoping you could see that but neither the angel nor the writing on the ribbon photographed well...

There is a little gold and very sweet heart underneath the angel's neck. This grief group was like a life raft to me as I was thrown into the middle of the "ocean of grieving" and that is why I advise anyone going through this process to find grief counselors (many are completely free), church workshops on grief, books, movies and multiple grief groups if possible.

Now you are about to be let in on one of my 'addictions'..."Hello, everyone, my name is Marcy and I am an earringaholic." Strangely enough, I wear very little jewelry...in fact, I had to 'teach' myself to wear the two additional little rings on my right hand. But...earrings...Whoa Nelly and Whoa Everyone Else...a serious weakness here!! You can imagine my delight when several years ago, my late hubby and I happened upon these earring racks at a Renaissance Festival....

This is a picture of the two of them side by side. Originally they were inside the doors of an old dresser I had, but now Michael put them on this closet wall for me. In case you are thinking this doesn't look like that many earrings, let me tell you that these are the tip of the iceberg and that I have gone through multiple times and given away tons of earrings!

This should be an 'everyone's favorite'...it is a series of three photos I made of the morning sunrise here in Georgia just a few days ago...

I went downstairs to let Tinka out and and saw this beautiful panorama...

So I had to capture it from every angle....

I found this on the Internet and wanted to share it with you....

Gifts that Do Not Cost A Cent

"THE GIFT OF LISTENING... But you must REALLY listen. No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your response. Just listening.

THE GIFT OF AFFECTION...Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends.

THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER...Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."

THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE...It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet. A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime, and may even change a life.

THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT... A simple and sincere, "You look great in red," "You did a super job" or "That was a wonderful meal" can make someone's day.

THE GIFT OF A FAVOR... Every day, go out of your way to do something kind.

THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE... There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone. Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others.

THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION... The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone, really it's not that hard to say, Hello or Thank You."

Time to tickle your funny bone with a timely joke (or two or three...

THE NEW CLOCK

As a young man is showing off his apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock", the man replied. "How's it work?" the friend asked. "Watch", the man said then proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall. "KNOCK IT OFF, YOU IDIOT! It's two o'clock in the morning!

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Two Engines

A large two engine train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance one of the engines broke down.
"No problem," the engineer thought, and carried on at half-power. Further on down the line, the other engine broke down, and the train came to a standstill. The engineer decided he should inform the passengers about why the train had stopped, and made the following announcement:
"Ladies and gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that both engines have failed, and we will be stuck here for some time. The good news is that this is a train and not a plane. "
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The Koala Bear

A Koala bear walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich and the bartender brings him a sandwich. The Koala eats the sandwich and gets up, spins around, pulls a pistol out of his pouch, shoots the piano player in the foot, and proceeds to walk out of the bar.
The bartender, in shock, shouts to the Koala, "Hey who do you think you are, you ate my sandwich and shot my piano player in the foot, and just where do you think your going??! "
The Koala replies, "Hey I'm a Koala. Look it up."
The frustrated bartender pulls out a dictionary from behind the bar and looks up

Koala:

"n. a marsupial that eats shoots and leaves."

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Stay

A man pulled into the crowded parking lot at the
Local Shopping Center and rolled down the car windows to make sure his Labrador Retriever Pup had fresh air. She was stretched full-out on the back seat. And he wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. He walked to the curb backward, pointing his finger at the car and saying emphatically, 'Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay! Stay!'

The driver of a nearby car, a pretty blond young lady, gave him a strange look and said, 'Why don't you just put it in park?'

~~~Thank You Heavenly Father for the blessings of beautiful sunrises and sunsets, may we praise You for them all.

Solutions to Eliminate Stress

Food & relaxation really play an important part in taking stress out of your life. See what a good job it did for this little guy?....

Now, here's a three part series of stress resolutions, the first two being written by experts in their field and links you can click on. The third one is written by yours truly who has managed to get expertly stressed and you can just click all over the place...in fact, that will even help de-stress you!!

"Top 10 Ways to De-Stress and Eat Less
Instead of comfort food, try these tips.
By Kathleen M. Zelman, MPHWebMD Weight Loss Clinic-Feature

Do you turn to food whenever you're stressed out? Stress-related food behaviors can be changed. Here are 10 tips to help you find better ways to deal with stress:

Fit in fitness every day. Getting regular physical activity works wonders in coping with stress. Give your stress to the pavement or the treadmill and let it go from your body. Staying active in winter elevates your mood and reduces stress.

Enjoy natural sunlight, especially in the winter. It can be depressing to be stuck indoors during the shortened days of winter, but a brisk walk in the sunshine can be a real mood enhancer.

Keep up your journal every day. Self-monitoring your food, fitness, and emotional feelings is an excellent way to become more aware of your triggers and behavioral patterns.

Don't deprive yourself of enjoying the foods you love, for this only leads to bingeing. Instead, plan to eat a small portion of the desired foods, eat it slowly, and savor every mouthful.

Set some ground rules about eating (such as only eat while seated, no food after 9 p.m., no second helpings, etc.).

Visit our community boards regularly and let your friends and professional staff help you. Research has shown that staying connected is one of the most important aspects of dealing with stress and sticking to your eating plan.

Identify the situations that cause overeating and develop a list of how you will handle these challenges. Be realistic. Talk it over with your buddies that face similar stressors to find realistic solutions that will help you manage the stress.

Relax. Give yourself 15 minutes each day of peace and quiet, a time to be reflective, meditate, or simply unwind. Soaking in a hot bubble bath can help release your troubles into thin air.

Breaking free from the family, a breath of fresh air, or escaping to a quiet room will energize and empower you.

Be good to yourself. Have a list of motivational sayings that inspire and strengthen your resolve. Use affirmations daily to help you feel good about yourself and your mission to lose weight.

Eat healthfully. Proper nutrition promotes health, well-being, and rejuvenation, which in turn enhances your resilience to stress. "

Here is the second in this series....

"There are two lessons that everyone needs to learn in order to be healthy. The first lesson is that stress is a natural and necessary part of life. We feel stress when we feel threatened or when we sense something is causing us to feel unsettled or unbalanced. It is normal. The second lesson that we need to learn is that too much stress can be detrimental to our health. Which is why learning how to de-stress is important.

There are simple things that you can do each day to help your mind unwind so that your body can relax and recuperate from the events of the day. Below are a few different de-stressing exercises that you can do that will help you feel better almost instantly.

Tip One: Take a Stroll
It doesn't matter if it is only for a couple of minutes. Walk away, walk outside, take a walk around the office building. Just get away and breathe, change your focus to the birds singing, the funny lady answering the phone, the way the leaves blow in the wind. Get out, get away and change your focus.

Tip Two: Meditate
When you meditate you force your mind to let go and not focus on anything other than your breathing. We all struggle letting go of things, especially when they hit a nerve and we haven't been able to come a resolution on it. Meditation takes that all away. You can meditate to go to your "happy place," or meditate and focus on the way your body takes air in and out. The goal is for you to feel better. Incidentally, mediation doesn't have to take hours. You can meditate for only minutes and it can be just as effective.

Tip Three: Listen to Your Favorite Tunes
Music sets a mood, it can make you cry, it can make you sing, it can make you feel good. Keep a CD of your favorite feel good music handy and whenever you are feeling stressed pop the CD in and listen to a song or two. If you are on your way home from work, pop the CD in and play it full blast on the way home. Let the music take over.

Tip Four: Sip Some Herbal Tea
When we are stressed the last thing in the world we need is caffeine, so skip the can of cola or the cup of coffee and opt for one of your favorite herbal teas. Chamomile is especially nice when you are trying to relax, so is peppermint or "sleepy time" tea.

Tip Five: Breathe
Sometimes all you have to do is stop long enough to breathe. Take a nice deep breath. Slow deep breath in and slow deep breath out. The oxygen will help everything in your body open up and relax, re-energizing you so that you can face the rest of your day with a clear head.
I have even more tips for you but I couldn't fit them all to this article. That's why I have a whole book for you about how to eliminate stress. You can download it here: http://howtoeliminatestress.com/ - I promise you: If you follow my tips, you WILL get rid of your stress. See you there. :)
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nick_W._Lang"

Here is the third and final 'pseudo expert' with pseudo solutions in this pseudo world for pseudo people (isn't pseudo just a fun word?)

When feeling stressed about the prospect of having to use your friendly pooper scooper, try something new and innovative with your dog (or cat or mouse or mini cow or sheep etc.) Have THEM do the pooper scooping. Remember training them can not only be fun, fun, fun, but it can de-stress you as well as all the people around you as you go through the training regimen...

Take a swim in a kiddie pool and you too can look happy and relaxed like this little guy....

Clown around with a friend and make sure you honk those big noses as you stroll along a crowded street, de-stressing all those around you.....

Have a good belly laugh by renting your favorite funny movie over again or reading hilarious funny books....




Look all around you, there are funny things everywhere ...even sign people can be your friendly comedians....

Always remember to take your 'happy pills' even if they are pretend and do it with your pretend friends and then have a pretend party...CAUTION: This just might NOT be one that you would like to share the joy with in a large crowd!!

Last, but MOST definitely NOT least is prayer and joyful prayer! Although not recorded in Holy Scripture, Jesus must have laughed several times...one I can think of off the top of my head might have been when Jesus saw Zacchaeus had climbed way up in that tree to see Jesus better! Trying praying to your Maker a different way...with a SMILE on your face as you are praying...

Psalm 100:1 A Psalm for Thanksgiving. Shout joyfully to the LORD, all the earth.
Isaiah 44:23 Shout for joy, O heavens, for the LORD has done it! Shout joyfully, you lower parts of the earth; Break forth into a shout of joy, you mountains, O forest, and every tree in it; For the LORD has redeemed Jacob And in Israel He shows forth His glory. (NASB ©1995)

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Now let's see if you can let yourself relax and bring those corners of your mouth up to a big grin (belly laughs are also allowed!)....

Signs on Church Property

"Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!"
"Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins."
"God so loved the world that He did not send a committee."
"Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!"
"Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday."
"Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world."

"It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."
"Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."
"If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."
"Forbidden fruit creates many jams."
A singing group called "The Resurrection" was scheduled to sing at a church. When a big snowstorm postponed the performance, the pastor fixed the outside sign to read, "The Resurrection is postponed."


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More things You Learn From the Movies:

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.
Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.

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A Sick Veterinarian
A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor took an extensive medical history and then inquired about her symptoms and complaints. She rudely interrupted him, "Hey look, I'm a vet. I don't need to ask my patients all these questions. I can tell what's wrong just by looking." She smugly added, "Why can't you?" The doctor nodded and said, "Okay, I'll take your challenge." The doctor quickly

performed a physical exam, being careful not to ask any questions. He then picked up a pad, wrote a prescription and handed it to her. "There you are. Take these pills four times a day for ten days. If this doesn't work, come back, and we'll put you to sleep."

***************

A brunette pushes her Mercedes into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it just died! Up and died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, 'What was the problem?' He replies, 'Just puke in the carburetor' She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

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All the redheads in the world decided to have a "redhead people convention". At the convention the chairman said to the crowd "Today we are going to prove to the world that redheads are not dumb! I am going to pick some one from the crowd to answer a question, and after he/she answers it, the world will know how smart we really are!" So he picked a man from the front row and he came on stage. The chairman asked him "What's 2+2?" "6" he said.

The crowd screamed "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!" So the chairman said "OK, one more chance. what's 4+3?" "2" he said. The crowd shouted "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!" The chairman said "Fine... but this is your LAST chance. What's 5+3?" "8" he said the crowd immediately shouted "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

~~~Thank You Lord for the blessings You have given me to cope with stress and YOU are the one true answer to it all, for You are LOVE.

Teresa's Baa Baa Mini Sheep

Baa baa go the mini sheep

How many can we keep?

They love it where it's steep

They love it where it's deep.

Put them in your home with the little mini cows

And then your neighbors will be full of many wows

Open up your heart, open up your door

And you can have these minis on each and every floor.

Is that thunderous applause I am hearing from all of your cheering? (Help, help...I can't stop rhyming...get me some chocolate, quick!) So begins this awesome Wordful Wednesday with poems blooming all over blogland...please join in (even two lines count, you know, anywhere in your post, even accidentally).

Teresa over @ Do the Write Thing is looking for some mini sheep, so I found them for her. I am suspecting that she is thinking of all the benefits here...no lawn mowing (could maybe even open up a lawn mowing business here), a few new friends for her cute little dog, Molly, she wouldn't have to count sheep, just use one for a pillow, there'd be free fertilizer (another good money maker here too), etc. etc.

Aren't they just too cute???

About Miniature Sheep

Miniature Sheep are ruminants and have four-chambered stomachs. They are cud-chewing animals. Male sheep are called rams. Female sheep are called ewes. Miniature Sheep mate from August to December. It takes a female sheep five months to have a baby lamb. Miniature Sheep give birth only one time a year, usually in the spring. They often have twins and occasionally triplets. The baby lambs are usually weaned between eight to twelve weeks old. They live 15 to 16 years. Miniature Sheep make wonderful pets. They are quiet and gentle. They love weeds, honeysuckle and kudzu. Miniature Sheep help farmers clean ground in vineyards, high bush fruit fields, and small orchards. They are small enough not to damage the fruit and do not eat the bark off trees. They keep down weeds, insects, and leave behind all that fertilizer!

Miniature Babydoll Sheep

Miniature Olde English "Babydoll" Southdown Sheep originated around the late 1700's in the southdown hills of Sussex County, England. They were popular because of their extreme hardiness and they produced a carcass with tenderness and good flavored meat unmatched by any other breed. Miniature Babydolls were imported to the United States in 1803. However, the demand for larger cuts of meat almost forced the breed into extinction. By the year 1990, only 350 miniature sheep were all that could be traced to still exist. Only after the many exhaustive efforts to form a foundation registry to preserve the original miniature sheep, the numbers of sheep have gained resurgence.

The registry breed standards are a height of 24 inches or less at the shoulder without wool when fully mature at age two. Babydolls get their name from their attractive teddy bear faces. Neither males nor females have horns. White is the predominant color, however, there are a few blacks. Their wool is short, stapled and fine. Fleece tests at 19-20 microns which puts it in the class of cashmere. It has more barbs per inch than any other wool types and makes it ideal to blend with mohair, angora, or alpaca to make a stronger yarn without losing softness. It also felts well.

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If you said Baaa to all this information, you might say moooo to these jokes...

(psst...can you tell which joke I 'doctored up' just a bit?)

A flock of sheep are grazing in a field, happily going "baa baa" to each other and discussing life as usual when suddenly they hear a "moo mooooooooooooooooooo!"
They look around and see only sheep. They carry on grazing as before.
"Moooooo mooooooooooo mmmoo!"
One sheep can hear it all a little too clearly not too far from her location. She shuffles away from the conversation she was in and approaches the source of the noisemaker, a worried look covering her face.
"Georgiana, why are you mooing?" she asks. "You're a sheep. Sheep go 'baa!'"
Georgiana replies, "I know, but I thought I'd like to learn a foreign language, alot like my heroine Marcy! I understand she speaks cow, pig, horse, goldfish and tree."

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A devout sheepherder lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out in the valley. Three weeks later a sheep walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The sheepherder couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the sheep's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward, and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the sheep. "Your name is written inside the cover."
A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a sheep that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the sheep and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth.
"Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out."
The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer.
"Here," he said, "is the check for $900. It's postdated six years from now."

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In Texas, it's against the law for anyone to have a pair of pliers in his or her possession.

(Headline reads "Crazed person with pliers roaming the streets...lock your doors and secure your plumbing.")

In Philadelphia, you can't put pretzels in bags based on an Act of 1760.

(Instead , just open your trunk and in they go.)

Alaska law says that you can't look at a moose from an airplane.

(All moose gazing must be done in a helicopter.)

In Corpus Christie, Texas, it is illegal to raise alligators in your home.

(Gee whiz, they would have made great pals for those miniature cows and sheep.)

In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal.

(Some people aren't even trying and they still manage to sound like monkeys.)

It is against the law to mispronounce the name of the State of Arkansas in that State.

(Just head over the border and you can pronounce it Transylvania AND stick your tongue out and go nanny nanny boo boo to you.)

In Illinois, the law is that a car must be driven with the steering wheel.

(And I was having so much fun doing it with the cigarette lighter and windshield wipers.)

California law prohibits a woman from driving a car while dressed in a housecoat.

(THIS isn't fair...WHY do men get to drive in a housecoat?! Actually, I'm not a 100% on what a housecoat is...is it a coat you can only wear in the house?)

In Memphis, Tennessee, a woman is not to drive a car unless a man warns approaching motorists or pedestrians by walking in front of the car that is being driven.

(This is one VERY, VERY nice, polite, considerate and loving hubby who would NEVER do ANYTHING to upset his wife...a guy who is also a very fast runner.)

In Tennessee, it is against the law to drive a car while sleeping.

(If you're on a motorcycle or in a truck, just snooze away.)

In New York, it is against the law for a blind person to drive an automobile.

(I think they ought to demand some equal rights here...after all, what are those seeing eye dogs for anyway...one woof is turn right, two woofs turn left and three woofs means you just ran over four people on the sidewalk.)

In West Virginia, only babies can ride in a baby carriage.

(And this is one of Michael's big ambitions in life...rats.)

In Georgia, it is against the law to slap a man on the back or front.

(It's tricky, but you've got to catch him on the side.)

A barber is not to advertise prices in the State of Georgia.

(Instead you pay whatever he asks or he super glues your hair back on your head randomly.)

In Louisiana, a bill was introduced years ago in the State House of Representatives that fixed a ceiling on haircuts for bald men of 25 cents.

(Makes you wonder WHAT kind of a problem they had to enact this law?!! Were they charging by the hair?)

In Oklahoma, no baseball team can hit the ball over the fence or out of a ballpark.

(They solved this massive problem by having the fence located in Italy.)

In Rochester, Michigan, the law is that anyone bathing in public must have the bathing suit inspected by a police officer !

(Police officer to dispatch radio : "Sorry about that murder over on twenty third street...I've got three bathing suits in desperate need of inspecting.")

In Kentucky, it's the law that a person must take a bath once a year.

(They have official stink meters to see what your level of BO is and when it's over the limit, they take cattle prods and push you and a box of laundry detergent in the river.)

In Utah, birds have the right of way on any public highway.

(The penguins just LOVE this...yes, I know they don't have penguins in Utah, but they WOULD love it if they ever visited.)

In Ohio, one must have a license to keep a bear.

(Obviously, having a brain is not only NOT necessary, but frowned upon.)

In Tennessee, a law exists which prohibits the sale of bologna (sandwich meat) on Sunday.

(Oscar Mayer is gonna be really upset when they find out.)

In Virginia, the Code of 1930 has a statute which prohibits corrupt practices or bribery by any person other than political candidates.

(This MUST be where it ALL started!!!)

In Providence, Rhode Island, it is against the law to jump off a bridge.

(Jumping off tall buildings, however, is considered great sport.)

In the State of Kansas, you're not allowed to drive a buffalo through a street.

(They take up too much room in the car and are hard to get into the seat belt.)

In Florida, it is against the law to put livestock on a school bus.

(Obviously some officials thought there was livestock on them instead of rowdy kids...could be hard to tell the difference.)

In New Jersey, cabbage can't be sold on Sunday.

(Are they afraid someone will make cabbage whiskey?)

In Galveston, Texas, it is illegal to have a camel run loose in the street!

(Guess this was a problem that just grew worse...now I'm gonna worry here in GA as we have NO laws against this! If you, too, are not protected by this law, remember to keep looking carefully for camels on the loose.)

In North Carolina, it is against the law for dogs and cats to fight.

(Boy, I just wish they had a people law like this...in fact, this is one I wish could be world wide...sigh. In fact, the best law would be if someone really disgusts or upsets you, you have to give them a big smooch.)

In Singapore, it is illegal to chew gum.

(However, you can eat all the gum you want.. .I know alot of kids who must have spent time in Singapore.)

In Cleveland, Ohio, it is unlawful to leave chewing gum in public places.

(So make sure you leave in some pedestrian's pocket.)

In Virginia, chickens cannot lay eggs before 8:00 a.m., and must be done before 4:00 p.m.

(And I thought it was impressive that you could house train a mini cow...that's NOTHING compared to these babies...either that or they had ALOT of jailed chickens.)

In New York, it is against the law for children to pick up or collect cigarette and cigar butts.

(How, just how, do they expect children to have good childhood memories if they restrict them like this??)

In Massachusetts, it is against the law to put tomatoes in clam chowder.

(There IS a way around this...I say, just put clam chowder in the tomatoes! Anyone have any other problems I can solve on the spot for you?)

~~~Thank You dear Heavenly Father for the blessings of Your tiniest ones in creation, for they are treasures for us all.

A Few Strange Things

Having found those adorable miniature cows yesterday, I decided to go on a little journey to find a few other unusual items. While the blue bottle looks perfectly normal, the very pretty amber bottle might be difficult to use and easy to break...

If you are in the market for the different and unusual, here is the store for you, all you will need is an armed bodyguard to shop in this area...

When I found this, the only description was 'a weird toilet fixture in Germany' ...does anyone have any idea WHAT this is?...


This was described as a weird paper or memo holder (looks like they got that one right)...



This is some sea creature (or thing) that is very beautiful and colorful, but again, does anyone have this in their home aquarium or know what it is?.....

In a lot of countries you need a translator not only for the language but also for the translating which can turn out to be quite hilarious...

This is some artwork in a Japanese subway...doesn't it look like a fancy laundromat...think this guy is looking for the coin insert location...

Okay, now this gave me (and my computer) a hissy fit. I tried to find out more about it for you and my computer froze. Before that delightful episode occurred what I did see was all in the Malaysian language! This is from Ripley's Believe It or Not...

How about this little gem? This is listed as a souvenir (not sure from where or which planet!) And you thought it was so hard to pick up a souvenir for those people who ask you to do so on a trip....bring this back for them and they will NEVER ask you again...

These are some 'things' (for lack of a better word or any real clue here) that are listed as weird things in Wisconsin...

For those looking for REALLY unique furniture, I found these pieces and you can actually buy them, put them in your home and watch people worry about what they just ate or the side effects of their medications...Finally, although he thinks we'd have a zoning problem if we got a miniature cow, Michael wanted me to find some other miniature animals, so here are some pygmy elephants. Be the first in your neighborhood to have some of these in your own backyard! I'm not too sure if you can house train these guys, so let me know if you are one of those who wants an inside elephant!

"Miniature Elephants are a Unique Subspecies
The pygmy elephants of Borneo are baby-faced little pachyderms, with oversized ears, plump bellies and tails so long they sometimes drag on the ground as they walk.
For years, it’s been believed that these tiny elephants were simply the semi-tame remnants of a domesticated herd abandoned on the island years ago.
But a WWF study proved that wrong and Borneo’s pygmy elephants are likely to be officially declared a new subspecies. That makes them a high conservation priority. Yet they remain the least-understood elephants in the world. "
Some more weird, but funny stuff.....

An optimist is someone who goes after Moby Dick in a rowboat and takes the tartar sauce with him.

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Christian Bulletin Bloopers

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in Church Services..........

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa. (And I thought teaching my kids good manners was a challenge!)

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

(But of course, there will be no prayers either!)

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus." (He will find US because WE are His lost little lambs.)

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale.....It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands. (Husbands...beware...shape up or we ship out!)

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

(We are hoping to disarm everyone before the next meeting.)

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

(This will endear you to them and fast friendships will form!)

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

(For those of you who DO know, please help the less fortunate parents who don't know they have children.)

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

(There will be free earplugs for all.)

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

(Pastor Jack is now looking for a new job....in sleep therapy.)

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

(Now begins something VERY scary.)

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

(This time, instead of free earplugs, free nose plugs will be provided.)

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be, "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

(And do the equivalent of several years of penance.)

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

(It's not ALL about helping any more.)

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

(This will be a tight squeeze as well as rather disgusting.)

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

(If you're gonna be hostile, at least be gracious about it.)

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

(THIS is one supper you don't want to miss.)

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

(Let's hope the non church going sinners don't hear about this one or that church will be packed.)

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done. (Too scary for words.)

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

(A fun time will be had by all watching him in these electric girdles busting some new dance moves.)

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

(And keep your heads down as you crawl to the door.)

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

(You can even cry before hand...they are THAT bad.)

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double doors at the side entrance.

(And just waddle on in as we make you feel good about yourselves.)

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours"

(Speechless here...)

~~~Thank You, Father for the blessings of the weird and unusual in my life, may it help me to realize my own 'weirdness' and be more loving and compassionate to all of creation.

To Pen or Not to Pen

Remember how exciting the idea of having a pen pal used to be? Now with cyber space, we have kind of lost that. Well, Jerelene @ Jerelenes Journal would like to see if anyone in blogland would like to participate in a once or twice a month pen pal exchange.

These guys are pen pals in a REAL sense of the word...

You just need to sit down at your desk/computer area, get a cup of coffee or cocoa and write down a few things. Even the dollar store has cute and funny cards....

This is just another way of fostering friendship and good wishes mixed with blessings....

So, anyone out there willing to participate (I'm in, Jerelene), just e-mail Jerelene (e-mail is on her web site, so click here, then go to the right where it says 'e-mail me' and click on that) and according to Jerelene, we will swap addresses monthly so that everyone will eventually send a card/letter/gold bullion/diamonds etc. to everyone else who might want to get something other than bills or junk mail in their mail boxes...

Since Jerelene is reaching out to the rest of the 'village' (remember there is nothing exclusive here...you read, you belong, automatically), I was delighted to find that her love of cows can now be brought home...LITERALLY! She just got a new fish as a pet, but she can add to her pets in a big way. Of course so can we all, according to this article I found. Lisa is stuck with just goats and could broaden her horizons with these additions as well. Think this could also work for city folks like Eileen whose grand kids and hubby would just be delighted!! Since Jackie has retired from being a full time teacher, I think she might need to investigate this further, too.....

Cows Make Good Indoor Pets?

DES MOINES, IA (AheadOfNews.com)

"- These days, if Martha Crowell waits until the cows come home, she hardly has to wait at all - the cows are her indoor pets, and only go outside to relieve themselves. (THIS is a definite PLUS, although I was a tad disappointed that she didn't try to get them to use the master bathroom!)

"It was kind of hard to house-train them," admits Ms. Crowell, a retired school teacher, "but once they got the hang of it we didn't have any more trouble." (Why don't we get the good parts on this like HOW they managed this training or what transpired when these animals had household 'slips'???!!)

Crowell currently has a miniature cow named Elsie and miniature bull named Elmer. Although they're only a fraction of the size of normal cattle, they each weigh several hundred pounds."They're easier than dogs." says Crowell, "They'll
sit there for hours in front of the TV, just chewing their cud. They're both big fans of Oprah. " (Now, isn't this just a dream come true...you and your cows watching TV together...every woman's ideal companions!)

"Martha Crowell isn't alone in having cows at home - several ranchers have now specialized in raising "companion cows". Marvin Hope, a rancher in southern Ohio, says "a lot of folks with allergies to cats and dogs find that they can have a cow around without any problems. They're calm, happy animals, and inexpensive to feed.""Plus," Hope says, "you can get up to two gallons of milk a day from a miniature cow. Just try to do that with a cat!" (Here Bessie, here Bessie, it's cereal time. Marvin Hope has obviously been breathing in too many alfalfa fumes when he suggests try doing that with your cat!!)

Reindeer milk has more fat than cow milk.

(Does this mean we can have miniature household reindeer pets? Actually, I don't even understand why they threw this tidbit in...were they short on fillers for the newspaper that day?)
"As for butter versus margarine,
I trust cows more than chemists"

(Silly girl, everybody knows you can't train chemists like these smart cows.)

- Joan Gussow "

Since this was so long, there is only one chuckle for today, but it's a whopper!

Got a letter from Grandma the other day. She writes...

The other day I went up to a local Christian book store and saw a "Honk If You Love Jesus " bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting; so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience that followed!
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is...
and I didn't notice that the light had changed.

It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed!
I found that LOTS of people love Jesus! Why, while I was sitting there,
the guy behind me started honking like crazy,and then he leaned out of his window and screamed,"For the love of GOD! GO! GO! JESUS CHRIST, GO!"
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people.I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!
There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a"sunny beach"...I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. When I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant, he said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii; so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. My grandson burst out laughing...why even he was enjoying this religious experience!
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended,but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I waved to all my sisters and brothers, grinning,and drove on through the intersection. I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared; so I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.
Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!
Grandma

~~~Thank You Lord for the blessings of people who reach out to people in so many different ways, sometimes through just writing a few words in a cheerful card.

Sunday thoughts & Blessings

This morning when I go to church, this is the Scripture that I will be reading and I just wanted to share it with you and pray that it is something we carry with us today and everyday!! Remember, please, that I will also be praying for all of you.

Eph 4:1-6

"Brothers and sisters:

I, a prisoner for the Lord,urge you to live in a manner worthy of the call you have received,with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another through love, striving to preserve the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace: one body and one Spirit, as you were also called to the one hope of your call; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all."

I found this on the Internet...

"Blessings are real and visible when viewed from cleansed eyes; eyes that can see possibilities, not problems, eyes that can see opportunities, not spite, eyes that can see new days ahead not a life filled with excuses.

Before you cry "foul", think about all the blessings that are visible. Each day is a new day, a day to start with positive actions based on the blessings you have. "

Leaving you with a smile for today....

The Rev. Billy Graham tells of a time early in his career when he arrived in a small town to preach a sermon. Wanting to mail a letter, he asked a young boy where the post office was.When the boy told him, Rev. Graham thanked him and said, “If you’ll come to the Baptist church this evening, you can hear me telling everyone how to get to Heaven.”“I don’t think I’ll be there,” the boy said. “You don’t even know your way to the post office.”

***********

'Where Is My Paper?' The irate customer calling the newspaper offices, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was. 'Ma'am, said the employee, today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered 'til Sunday.' There was quite a pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition. 'So that's why no one was in church today.'

*********

Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender missionary. I've baked 'em, I've roasted 'em, I've stewed 'em, I've barbecued 'em, I've even tried every sort of marinade. I just cannot seem to get them tender."
The second cannibal asks, "What kind of missionary do you use?"
The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and their sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads."
"Ah ha!" he replies. "No wonder.. those are friars!"

~~~Thank You Lord for giving me/us this special day set aside to worship and honor You, may I/we never fail to worship and honor You.

Savor the Day

In our world we get so busy and make so many lists that we often forget how to savor the day, any day, so let's give it a try here....

One of the most important ways to savor any day is to plan a random act of kindness...these are not only fun, but they make the world a so much better place. Plan on contributing that few extra cents or even a few dollars to the person in line ahead of you who can't find enough money, hold the door open for someone, smile and say Good Morning to someone who looks unhappy or busy, etc., etc. If someone wants to repay you, just ask them to pass it on. After having read about this in a magazine, I purchased several umbrellas at the dollar store and have them in my car ready to give to someone without an umbrella on a rainy day. You could even print up these nice cards...

You hear the saying take time to smell the roses...well take time, really take time to go pick a flower, touch it, look at it and smell it slowly (make sure the bees aren't in there first)....

Read some uplifting Scripture verses and fill your heart with the goodness of God's Word...



Go out and buy some fruit, lots of fruit and cut it up and enjoy it right away...



Now in order to savor your food there may a challenge or two here. When I read the large print on this, I thought eat ANYTHING WITH false teeth...so if a chicken has false teeth, I can eat it, if a cow has false teeth...etc. etc. It's so darn hard to find chickens with false teeth...their oral hygiene is just too good! Now, of those of you who savor coffee, here's a cup I just brewed for you. For you to truly savor this cup, I will share my ultra secret recipe for enjoying coffee at its best: take one large mug, fill it half full with hot coffee, add 2-3 tsps of sugar, 5-7 TBs of your favorite coffee creamer, then fill to the top with lukewarm water and Ta dah...you have something no true coffee drinker will even recognize as coffee, but it's the only way to drink it for me!

Aaah, enjoying nature and all its' beauty... a beautiful butterfly that I found long ago on the Internet (Angie, you can do this from a distance since you are not too crazy about butterflies)...
This is just a tad late, but it does give you some savoring ideas, plus ways to 'stay young'...

So, not only have a beautiful day, but MAKE a beautiful day!!

Yet another way to savor a day (can't stop the poet in me), is to smile awhile....

Teaching the child

As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear.Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve. "Excuse me, General," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?"The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose."

Dream flying planes

Sue and Bob, a pair of tight wads, lived in the mid west and had been married years. Bob had always wanted to go flying. The desire deepened each time a barn stormer flew into town to offer rides. Bob would ask and Sue would say, "No way, ten dollars is ten dollars."

"The years went by and Bob figured he didn't have much longer, so he got Sue out to the show, explaining, it's free to watch, let's at least watch. And once he got there the feeling become real strong. Sue and Bob started an argument.

The Pilot, between flights, overheard and listened to the problem and said, "I'll tell you what, I'll take you up flying and if you don't say a word the ride is on me, but if you make one sound, you pay ten dollars.

So off they flew. The Pilot was doing as many rolls and dives as he could. He headed to the ground as fast as the plane could go and pulled out of the dive at just the very last second. Not a word. Finally he admitted defeat and went back to the airport. "I'm surprised. Why didn't you say anything?" "Well I almost said something when Sue fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."

Story of my friend

I have a friend who is a pilot on a 747. I said "Hi Jack. "He shot me."

~~~Lord, I thank You for the blessings of so many things to savor, may I only grow in appreciation of them.