Septic Tank...the final frontier...er, episode

Lots of busy days, lots of mass chaos, but here comes the final story of the sad septic tank. How were we to know he was so upset? While I am pleased that all that came out of the downstairs toilet twice was laundry and dishwasher water mixed with a few noxious fumes, it was still not something that warmed my heart.

When calling the gentleman who pumps out septic tanks (thank You Lord for these people and their lack of smelling ability) we were unaware of the surprises that lay ahead.

Michael had been told that our septic tank was waaaayy out in the back yard...wrong...so wrong and in so many ways. Two or three years ago we had our patio size enlarged and a little sidewalk put in and guess what? It was poured right over a huge part of the septic tank, making it inaccessible for the pumping.!!

This left us two options...tear up the concrete and leave it messed up that way or wait until Monday when the driller guy could just barely drill a hole near enough to the part of the tank that needed pumping, so we opted for waiting.

Need I describe what a delight that week-end was? Have you ever had to run to two different grocery stores to go potty or to work for a shower??? Michael tried to avoid having anyone see him as he slipped into work to shower in the little used small gym in the basement...it was a nervous shower as he still worried that the big female security guard on duty might decide to check out why someone was using the almost never used shower.

When everyone showed up on Monday morning I was one happy camper, although I did learn how to wash dishes and clean floors without letting any water go down the drain. The drill guy drilled, the pump guy pumped, but these people have burned off any sense of smell they may have had and they failed to warn me to close the door!!

The picture below would have been me, but not knocked over from sweet flowers for sure...

There weren't any smells like this coming up...

I love the smell of carnations but they wouldn't have stood a chance against the evil powers of the smell...

The cap they put on top looks a little bit like one of these...

The truck looked like this except not but it did have some words on the side and they should have been...KEEP FAR FAR FAR AWAY (go the the next State at least)FROM HERE FOR THE SAFETY OF YOUR NOSE AND YOUR NEIGHBORS' AND YOUR PETS' ETC. ETC.

Isn't it time for some funny snickers now and a stop to this potty talk (and to think I did a post on potty mouth and now I'M talking potty!!!)....


1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The
ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve
you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and
says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this
taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well, It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to
Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing
to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I
couldn't find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"

The doctor replied, "I know, I amputated your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and
says, "Dam!"

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't
have your kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were
standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them
to disperse.
"But why," they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said. "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open
foyer."

18. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes
to a family in Egypt , and is named 'Ahmal.' The other goes to a family
in Spain ; they name him 'Juan.' Years later, Juan sends a picture of
himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her
husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband
responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate
very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he
suffered from
bad breath. This made him (oh, man, this is so bad, it's
good) ... a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20. A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail. The call went out
that there was a small medium at large.

21. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to
his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make
them laugh. No pun in ten did.


~~~Thank You Lord for the blessings of the many happy endings in our lives that we take for granted and even overlook, we really DO mean to be grateful.