A Chuckle

In my Blog travels I have come across losts of interesting and great ideas, some of which were: Friday Funnies, Thoughtful Thursdays, Wordless Wednesdays, but how about time for some new ones? So here goes Tickled on Tuesday:

Jesus, Moses, and an old bearded guy were playing golf. On the first tee, Moses shanked his ball into a lake. He parted the water and hit his ball onto the green. Jesus teed off, hitting his ball into another water hazard. But he walked on water and stroked his ball just short of the cup. Then the old man with the beard stepped up for his tee shot. He hit the ball with tremendous force, but hooked it badly. The ball bounced off the clubhouse roof, hit the cart path, and rolled down a hill into a pond, coming to rest on a lily pad. A frog hopped over and picked up the ball, then an eagle swooped down, snatched the frog, and flew over the green. The frog dropped the ball, and it rolled into the cup for a hole in one. Moses turned to Jesus and said, "I hate playing golf with your Dad."





Even though I am not a golfer (I'm even sure what "shanked" means), but can wield a pretty wicked putt putt (miniature golf) golf club, I would really have a hard time resisting playing on a golf course like this picture. This must be close to the way they look in Heaven!

Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about the fish emulsion, but I don't know if that would qualify for tickled on Tuesday?! Maybe it will work for Wordful Wednesday?

Two more treasures:

Bartenders and waiters have heard 'em all. But what we rarely hear is someone turning down a drink. "Nah, I better not have one," said one man after I offered him a glass of wine. "I have the world's worst stomach. I eat so many antacids that if I were to keel over dead right this minute, I'd leave my own chalk outline."

One of our clients brought in his massive Doberman pinscher to be spayed. As a veterinary assistant, I escort the patient into the doctor's office. But before taking this dog's leash, I glimpsed those large teeth of hers and asked the owner, "Is she friendly?""Friendly?" said the man. "She's had five litters!"

~~Thank you Lord for the blessing of good clean jokes and the ability to laugh.

~~PAY IT FORWARD~~

Easter may be "over", but the goodness of Easter should never be over. We always talk about trying to keep the Christmas spirit all year long, yet the Easter spirit is so much more important. There is no exchanging of gifts and harried and hurried wrapping, but there is the most awesome one Gift that we received but need to pass on to others. I'm going to try to really work on those random acts of kindness and those things I can do for others and not have them know about it. The best gift is keeping the Easter Gift giving through our own hands!! St. Teresa of Avila said it so well: " Christ has no hands now but yours..." He is in Heaven now and we need to be kind, loving and giving persons, His hands now!

Let's help make life good for others, especially that really crabby person or the one who cuts us off in traffic or pushes ahead of us at a store. Trust me, this is a challenge for me too because I've thought things like "Gosh that person would look good in duct tape...or where are ear plugs when you need them? ...or where are the elephant tranquilizer darts for emergencies like this (these could also be handy dandy when husbands or children aren't behaving)?"

Examples always work so well, so here goes one...

Years ago I worked in a wonderful bank where we were blessed with so many pleasant customers. BUT one day a very tall muscular man, a very angry man about 35 yrs. old, came up to my window and looked down at 5'3" me and snarled, saying "Your bank made a BIG mistake with MY account and YOU are gonna fix it. I don't want you to call anyone or bring over a bank manger. I want YOU to FIX it!!!" Of course, at this point I had tons of options, but I had Someone much bigger with me, the Holy Spirit, and I felt no intimidation and no fear as I calmly said "Sure, let's see what we can do for you." That shocked him as he was looking for a fight. Slowly, patiently and carefully, I checked with him as we went through the transactions he had in his checkbook versus the actual transactions on my computer screen. Naturally we found debit card transactions as well as a few checks not entered, but I never made it sound as if he or his wife were "guilty". Rather it was more of an innocent, surprised tone "Really, are you sure it's not there and do you remember this?" It took maybe 30 to 45 minutes but we sorted through it all and he left much calmer and very quietly. After that I just thanked God for the peace and guidance and thought no more of it. The next day he made a special trip to the bank to thank me and to apologize. See what God can do if we let HIM???

Somewhere I have a printed version of that prayer so loved by Mother Teresa about doing good and being kind even when others are so unkind. I'm going to tape it up here (maybe even move it around to keep us on our toes) where we can all look at it.

~~Thank you , Lord for all the opportunities out there for us to be kind to the unkind.

~~~ALLELUIA~~EASTER~~ALLELUIA~~~

"It's kind of fitting that it all happened in a garden. It's like a new beginning. The Bible begins with the story of Adam and Eve in the garden. And then, when they choose to go their own way, to seek life without God, they lose the garden. Where was this garden? Somewhere in Iraq, I think, or was it Iran? God has loved the Middle East for a long time. And God, the gardener, has longed to share the fruits of creation with human beings. But we continually choose to wander away ... forgetting the garden, and the gardener, choosing a different path. In the garden all God's creatures lived together in peace, and Adam and Eve shared with God in tending the garden. Now the garden is a scene of barrenness and separation ... how many innocent people die in that garden every day, caught in the crossfire?
And here was yet another body ... they took it down from the cross and placed it in a garden tomb. And here, in the garden, new life was planted ... it was as though creation came alive again ... death was not the last word ... the one who had loved was alive! But the cameramen and journalists didn't rush out for the story. It wasn't on CNN ... instead, the authorities leaked a story about the body being stolen ... don't let the masses know the truth ... don't even try to believe it yourself ... don't even think that it might be true! How can we keep things as they are if God has entered the equation?
But the story did leak out. The disciples became witnesses. They told everyone they met. 'He is risen', they said. 'The one who was dead is alive. The powers did not have the last word'.
'The death and resurrection of Jesus Christ puts the issue beyond doubt', writes Desmond Tutu, 'ultimately goodness and laughter and peace and compassion and gentleness and forgiveness and reconciliation will have the last word'.
Now that's something worth telling our children! Just imagine ... we tell them that the only things that matter are love and goodness and compassion and forgiveness. We tell them about the secret in the garden. The body was gone ... the stone was rolled away. We tell them about God's dream ... that one day all swords will be turned into ploughshares, and the lion will lie down with the lamb. And we baptise little ones, introducing them to this new world. 'The stone has been rolled away', we tell them. 'It's okay to believe in God ... it's okay to believe in goodness ... don't be afraid of those who tell you otherwise. Be courageous. Trust in the gardener, who sees gardens where others see tombs, who creates fruitfulness where others see only barrenness.
This is the message of Easter Day. 'Christ is risen! He is risen indeed! Alleluia!' "

'Why do you seek the living among the dead ?'

Completing this Holy Week, we need one more excerpt from the little book on Mother Teresa:

"Let us not be satisfied with just giving money. Money is not enough, money can be got, but they need your hearts to love them. So, spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own home. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, a next-door neighbor.

'Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with thy whole heart, with thy whole soul, and with thy whole mind.' This is the commandment of the great God, and He cannot command the impossible. Love is a fruit in season at all times, and within reach at every hand. Anyone may gather it and no limit is set. Everyone can reach this love through meditation, spirit of prayer and sacrifice, by an intense inner life.

There is no limit, because God is love and love is God, and so you are really in love with God.
And then, God's love is infinite. But part is to love and to give until it hurts. And that's why it's not how much you do, but how much love you put into the action. How much love we put in our presents. That's why people - maybe they are very rich people - who have not got a capacity to give and to receive love are the poorest of the poor. And I think this is what our Sisters have got - the spreading of joy that you see in many religious who have given themselves without reserve to God. "

Please enjoy some tidbits I found to make you smile on this wonderful day:



Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit. ~Author Unknown


Mirth is God's medicine. Everybody ought to bathe in it. ~Henry Ward Beecher



Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. ~Victor Borge



What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. ~Yiddish Proverb



When people are laughing, they're generally not killing each other. ~Alan Alda



The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. ~Mark Twain


Jumping for joy is good exercise. ~Author Unknown


Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. ~Marcel Proust



For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness. ~Author Unknown




To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness. ~Bertrand Russell, The Conquest of Happiness






There is so much joy to share today and sometimes it's the smallest of things that are so special. I remember when I was a little bitty girl and my mother made a special thing for Easter. She saved up lots of empty jello boxes, covered them with colored construction paper, making an engine boxcar and a caboose, made wheels from parts of the boxes and stuck them on with thumb tacks. Then she filled the boxes with Easter straw and eggs (the conductor and the people) with faces and mustaches. Years later I told her how I always treasured and enjoyed that home-made train. She was so surprised and said that she thought I wasn't that pleased with it. It just goes to prove how important it is to share good, positive feelings with each other!

Whenever I see a butterfly I am reminded of Christ's death and rising from the dead and how we should also be constantly transforming ourselves into a beautiful butterfly for God. May God's loving blessings be on all of you!! Happy, happy Easter!!!!

~~~~Thank you gracious God for this priceless Blessing You have given to us all.

Holy Saturday~~the waiting day

Holy Saturday (in Latin, Sabbatum Sanctum ), the 'day of the entombed Christ,' is the Lord's day of rest, for on that day Christ's body lay in His tomb. We recall the Apostle's Creed which says "He descended unto the dead." It is a day of suspense between two worlds, that of darkness, sin and death, and that of the Resurrection and the restoration of the Light of the World. For this reason no divine services are held until the Easter Vigil at night. This day between Good Friday and Easter Day makes present to us the end of one world and the complete newness of the era of salvation inaugurated by the Resurrection of Christ.

Now it's time to prepare our hearts, our homes and our meals for the greatest celebration of the year, Jesus Christ's triumph over death and message of hope, salvation and glory to us!!

Bet you're ready for this now, another passage from the little book on Mother Teresa:

"Some people came to Calcutta, and before leaving, they begged me: 'Tell us something that will help us to live our lives better.' And I said: 'Smile at each other; smile at your wife, smile at your husband, smile at your children, smile at each other - it doesn't matter who it is - and that will help you to grow up in greater love for each other.' And then one of them asked me: 'Are you married?' and I said: 'Yes, and I find it difficult sometimes to smile at Jesus.' And it is true, Jesus can be very demanding also, and it is at those times when He is so demanding that to give Him a big smile is very beautiful."

When my three children were very little, they had a restriction on when they could have candy...it could only be on week-ends, so when another little neighborhood girl asked about it, I said that it made it very special for them because they had to wait and got excited. Even though this girl could have candy any time she wanted, she said "I think my momma might make us wait and have a special day too." We need special days.

My oldest daughter, Ria (short for AnaMaria) had a special day and got some money. We went to the nearest convenience store (on a week-end)and she walked slowly up and down and slower yet, up and down the candy aisle, checking every piece of candy and gum they had there. Finally, she couldn't stand and she squeezed her money and her little 6 year old hands together and said "I'm so excited, I'm just so excited." THIS is what Holy Saturday SHOULD be for us!!! Let's get excited and show it, fellow christians!!!

THE CROSS

The cross is the hope of Christians

the cross is the resurrection of the dead

the cross is the way of the lost

the cross is the savior of the lost

the cross is the staff of the lame

the cross is the guide of the blind

the cross is the strength of the weak

the cross is the doctor of the sick

the cross is the aim of the priests

the cross is the hope of the hopeless

the cross is the freedom of the slaves

the cross is the power of the kings

the cross is the water of the seeds

the cross is the consolation of the bondsmen

the cross is the source of those who seek water

the cross is the cloth of the naked.

We thank you, Father, for the cross.

~~Thank you God for the blessing of The Cross and thank you for our crosses that we may be better people because of them.

P.S. Yesterday at our church service, I was given the honor of one of the long reading parts of the passion of Jesus. Since Good Friday services always make me cry, I was worried about doing a good job for God. Guess what? God decided to keep me in total control until the part where we kneel down after announcing that Jesus died (but no one saw me and that is good or if they did then that is good too!)

~~GOOD FRIDAY of Holy Week~~

From the earliest times the Christians kept every Friday as a feast day; and the obvious reasons for those usages explain why Easter is the Sunday par excellence, and why the Friday which marks the anniversary of Christ's death came to be called the Great or the Holy or the Good Friday. The origin of the term Good is not clear. Some say it is from "God's Friday" (Gottes Freitag); others maintain that it is from the German Gute Freitag, and not specially English. Sometimes, too, the day was called Long Friday by the Anglo-Saxons; so today in Denmark.

On Good Friday, the entire Church fixes her gaze on the Cross at Calvary. Each member of the Church tries to understand at what cost Christ has won our redemption. In the solemn ceremonies of Good Friday, in the Adoration of the Cross, in the chanting of the 'Reproaches', in the reading of the Passion, and in receiving the pre-consecrated Host, we unite ourselves to our Savior, and we contemplate our own death to sin in the Death of our Lord.
The Church -- stripped of its ornaments, the altar bare, and with the door of the empty tabernacle standing open -- is as if in mourning. In the fourth century the Apostolic Constitutions described this day as a "day of mourning, not a day of festive joy", and this day was called the "Pasch (passage) of the Crucifixion."

The liturgical observance of this day of Christ's suffering, crucifixion and death evidently has been in existence from the earliest days of the Church. No Mass is celebrated on this day, but the service of Good Friday is called the Mass of the Presanctified because Communion (in the species of bread), which had already been consecrated on Holy Thursday, is given to the people .
Traditionally, the organ is silent from Holy Thursday until the Alleluia at the Easter Vigil, as are all bells or other instruments, the only music during this period being unaccompanied chant.

"From noon onward, there was darkness over the whole land...." Matt 27:45

This is truly a very awe inspiring and sad day...it never fails to make me cry. Two years ago I watched The Passion of Christ for the first time. Michael (and others) warned me that it was VERY intense and that I might be upset or cry. Well, guess what? The movie barely started and I was crying. Throughout the movie, it was a matter of degree from then on...light crying to really "heavy duty" weeping! How can God love me/us soooooooooooooooooooooo much?????



One of the many things that have impacted me so deeply was what His mother felt during all of this. I am a mother and small things that affect my children affect me as well. How many times she must have wished she could suffer instead of Him or held Him one more time or comforted Him one more time, so this song is so perfect now....... see the video above "Mary did you know?"

"Near the cross of Jesus there stood his mother...."John 19:25

"One of the criminals hanging in crucifixion blasphemed him: "Aren't you the Messiah? then save yourself and us." But the other one rebuked him: "Have you no fear of God, seeing you are under the same sentence? We deserve it , after all. We are only paying the price for what we've done, but this man has done nothing wrong." He then said, "Jesus, remember me when you enter upon your reign." And Jesus replied, "I assure you: this day you will be with me in paradise." Luke 23:39-44

From "A Gift for God" Mother Teresa of Calcutta:



"In Calcutta our Sisters and Brothers work for the poorest of the poor, who aren't wanted, aren't loved, are sick and die, for the lepers and the little children, but I can tell you that I have never yet in these twenty-five years heard a poor person grumble or curse or feel miserable. I remember I picked up a person from the street who was nearly eaten up with maggots, and he said: 'I have lived like an animal in the street but I am going to die like an angel, loved and cared for.' And he did die like an angel - a very beautiful death."

Jesus said, "Father, forgive them; they do not know what they are doing." Luke 23:34

~~How can a thank you be enough for this immense blessing, like a piece of sand on the beach? BUT enough pieces of sand (THANK YOU, LORDS) make a beautiful beach!

Holy Thursday~The Last Supper~Maundy Thursday

"If I washed your feet - I Who am Teacher and Lord - then you must wash each other's feet. What I just did was to give you an example: as I have done, so you must do." -Jn 13:14-15

Thus Holy Thursday, also known as Maundy Thursday, is the Thursday of Holy Week, commemorating the Institution of the Holy Eucharist and the Sacrament of Ordination. Holy Thursday also celebrates the agony of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, and the betrayal of Jesus by Judas Iscariot, events that took place on the night before Jesus' crucifixion. The Evening Mass of the Lord's Supper on Holy Thursday begins the Triduum, which is the three-day celebration of the heart of the Christian faith: Christ's death and resurrection. The Paschal Triduum begins on the evening of Holy Thursday and concludes with the Evening Prayer (Vespers) of Easter. Thus the Triduum includes Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday, and reaches it high point at the Great Easter Vigil. The name "Maundy" comes from the Latin antiphon Mandatum Novum, i.e. "a new mandate." This new mandate from Jesus is taken from John 13:34: love one another as I have loved you.

Jesus shared the final meal with his disciples, called the Last Supper, on the night before he was crucified. The institution of the Holy Eucharist occurred during this meal, as indicated from the gospel excerpt below:

Now as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and blessed, and broke it, and gave it to the disciples and said, "Take, eat; this is my body." And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he gave it to them, saying, "Drink of it, all of you; for this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. I tell you I shall not drink again of this fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father's kingdom" (Matthew 26:26-29 RSV)

Tonight I will have the enormous blessings of going to church and watching as our Pastor washes the feet of 12 people (something I have "feared" being asked because the honor is so great and so humbling...my late husband, Mario, felt the same way when this happened to him many years ago).

From the book "A Gift For God", a small book about Mother Teresa:

"Some weeks back I heard there was a family that had not eaten for some days-a Hindu family-so I took some rice and I went to the family. Before I knew where I was, the mother of the family had divided the rice into two and she took the other half to the next door neighbors, who happened to be a Moslem family. Then I asked her 'How much will all of you have to share? There are ten of you with that bit of rice.' The mother replied 'They have not eaten either.' This is greatness."

Although this is a most solemn and reflective week, I leave you with a smile concerning this last depiction of the the Last Supper. This small version of the Last Supper was purchased many years ago and has (unfortunately) gotten knocked off the wall a few times. Not realizing it, one of the heads at the end came off, probably got picked up, puzzled over, then thrown away...we can only hope it was Judas Iscariot's head!!!

~~~Thank you, dear God, for giving us the blessings of the Bread of Life, may we always show our gratitude.

Wednesday of Holy Week aka Spy Wednesday

Spy Wednesday

Part of the Western Christian tradition, Spy Wednesday, also known as Holy Wednesday, is the Wednesday before Easter. It is called "Spy Wednesday" in reference to Judas Iscariot's first conspiratorial meeting with the Sanhedrin to betray Jesus for thirty silver coins.

When you think about it, this is a very good description for today...I have learned something new now, which only adds to the fact that the word spy has a bad connotation anyway...it's something done in the "dark", away from being brought to the light, so I chose a candle in the darkness to represent today.

Judas Iscariot was also the treasurer for the apostles and he was known to take money from the "treasury" for himself (one reason he was so upset by the use of the very expensive oils used to anoint Jesus' feet by the woman in the bible) , thereby denying the apostles and the poor.

Since Mother Teresa has been in this Holy Week, let me quote from a book written about her called "A Gift For God". She says (in reference to caring for the poor):

"Let there be no pride or vanity in the work. The work is God's work, the poor are God's poor. Put yourself completely under the influence of Jesus, so that He may think His thought in your mind, do His work through your hands, for you will be all-powerful with Him to strengthen you."

"Make sure that you let God's grace work in your souls by accepting whatever He gives you, and giving Him whatever he takes from you. True holiness consists in doing God's will with a smile."

If only Judas had thought this way in his care for the poor, but we still know that Jesus would have died for us no matter what, just extra sad that there was a betrayal as well.

~~~Thank you, Lord for the blessing of being aware that "there but for the grace of God, go I".

Tuesday of Holy Week

God loves us with such a beautiful and incomprehensible love that we must just stand/kneel/dance in the joy of it. When troubles come our way in big or little things we forget...let us re-remind ourselves each and every day, starting with this holiest of weeks~!!!!!!!!!!! May we also keep learning to love even more than we do now!

Quotes by Mother Teresa on Love


The success of love is in the loving - it is not in the result of loving. Of course it is natural in love to want the best for the other person, but whether it turns out that way or not does not determine the value of what we have done.

~

It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing. It is not how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving.

~

If we really want to love we must learn how to forgive.

~We can do no great things; only small things with great love.

~There is a terrible hunger for love. We all experience that in our lives - the pain, the loneliness. We must have the courage to recognize it.

The poor you may have right in your own family. Find them. Love them.


- Mother Teresa
- Quotes by Mother Teresa

P.S. This last quote of Mother Teresa's was an answer she gave to a person who went to India and saw and was so inspired by all that she did and then asked her if they should (some day) bring their spouse and children and do the good she was doing. There is so much good that we can do right here, right now.

~~~Heavenly Father, thank you for giving us your love in the form of your Precious Son..may we count this blessing not just every day, but every second of our lives.