Lent...A Time To Repent

Lent, A Time To Repent Reflect & Make Reparation!

Ash Wednesday, Feb. 17th begins the solemn 40 days of lent.

A time to reflect on our sins and weaknesses. A time to repent for the many ways we rebel against God on a daily basis!

It's a time of self-denial and sacrifice in reparation for the many ways that we fall short and offend God. A time to fast and abstain from some of the creature comforts and luxuries of our time, while focusing on the scourging, passion and ultimate sacrifice of Jesus on a crude, cruel and inhumane cross!

We focus mostly on our sins of commission, but Fr. Leo Clifford says that for every good deed that is done, there are 100 deeds left undone! The Bible reminds us that we will have to account for every idle deed and word-[Mt. 12:35-37]. Imagine that, we will have to account not just for every idle word, but for every idle deed, done or left undone! In St. James 4:17, it could not be stated more clearly, "Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins." St. James also tells us that "faith without works is dead" [St. James 2:26].

Not to be fear mongering, but straight out of the Bible, this is why we share this with you as we journey through, the Holy Lenten season. If you are not producing much fruit, this is a good time to reflect on whether you are doing what God has created you to do, especially in this time and place.

Proverbs 24:16 "Though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again ". Therein lies the crux of how diligent we must be in making the most of EVERY circumstance. How many times have we overlooked someone in dire need because we were too busy, or not listening to someone who's hurting, saying a kind word to someone who is down, gossiping behind someone's back, short changing someone, taking advantage of resources at work, failing to be "salt and light", and countless other ways that we sin by our acts of omission!

God is good in allowing us to change our lives and be the servants He created us to be. This life is a journey, a "flash in the pan". This is NOT our home. While we are here, we have to be busy about the Lord's work, we are to occupy, not just co­exist. The pagans are busy winning many souls to Hell, souls that God has put in our paths, souls that unless we reach out to save them, they may perish for all eternity!



The Lord waits for us much more than we wait for Him. In fact, when we do have to wait for Him, it's because He's waiting for someone else. So to keep from holding God back any longer, we should cooperate with God in those hundreds of things He intends to do now. Our disobedience is holding up everybody else. Repent of keeping God and humanity waiting.

As we journey through these forty days of Lent, we submit the following articles, not to be critical of our church, shepherds or fellow Christians. God knows the enemy is busy and rests not, but for us to reflect on the countless ways, we the majority, fail on a daily basis in positively affecting our culture for the better. Whether through laziness, fear or ignorance, none of these excuses will be allowed before God! So let's get busy, for the times are evil and countless souls are perishing!

Feed My Sheep, Feed My Lambs

The best way to purify the church and keep it pure-is to get rid of all the goats! And the best way to run the goats out of the church—is to feed them 'sheep food'. God's sheep will grow in grace under the preaching of grace—but goats will go hungry because they choke on 'sheep food'. They will soon leave and go somewhere else.

"Feed My sheep." John 2117

"Feed the flock of God entrusted to you. " 1 Peter 5:2

Getting Ready for Lent

If you can start the day without caffeine or pills,

If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can face the world without lies and deceit,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,



If you can do all these things,

Then you are probably the family dog.

Marquee Sayings for Lent:

Don't wait for the hearse to take you to church.



It's hard to stumble when you're

down on your knees.



What part of "Thou Shalt Not"

don't you understand?



A clear conscience makes a soft pillow.



The wages of sin is death.

Repent before payday.



Never give the devil a ride.

He will always want to drive.



Forbidden fruit creates many jams.



Christians, keep the faith...but not from others!



Satan subtracts and divides.

God adds and multiplies.



To belittle is to be little.



Don't let the littleness in others

bring out the littleness in you.



God answers knee-mail.



Try Jesus. If you don't like Him,

the devil will always take you back.

Christmas Tips

Here I am all cold and wet

Working to post and yet

There is just one little regret

For my "deadline" I have not met.

This was supposed to post much earlier

But apparently things are 'twirlier' (using poetic license here)

As boxes get unpacked

And nativties get stacked.

And The Rod Came Tumbling Down...

While there are thrills and chills to lots of excitement, the advantages of peaceful and calm far outweigh the excitement, at least for me, at least for these past several days.

Friday started all of this when I decided to walk our dog in the morning and start a new healthy routine for both of us. We got through more than half the walk when this stray dog started coming towards us barking and wagging her tail. She came out of a neighbor's garage and fortunately I knew this neighbor and she was home. Robin said that it was not her dog, nor was she dog sitting. The dog was overly friendly and sad looking too with those bloody stitches in her not so long ago cropped ears (enough to make one wonder about cropping the ears of the wackos who decided this was a good idea and on a grown dog!). So I take her to our backyard, write a lost dog sign and go with Tinkabelle to the front of our little subdivision and put it by the exit. When I realized her owners were 'cruel', I immediately removed the sign (well, Michael did).

As for our most recent adventure, here is some info I found on the Internet, although Michael is going to do it in a more conventional way....

"This Is a Hole Up
Repair a hole or gouge in a slab door with auto-body filler.
After it sets, hide the repair by sanding it smooth and then
painting over it. If you are filling a hole in an interior door,
substitute water putty for the auto-body filler."

Which brings me to the excitement awaiting us when we returned home from church on Sunday! Poor Kelly came to the car and hated to tell us yet more disconcerting news. It seems she heard a VERY loud crash in the house and thought someone had broken in but instead it was our 10'4' clothes rack and shelf in the master bedroom closet that had ripped out of the wall!!! We strongly suspect PG (Pretty Girl) our cat of having tried once again to jump on the shelf and it finally could take no more. Worry over PG possibly being under the clothes and boxes on the shelf caused us to all panic and clear everything out...good news...she was elsewhere and in good condition but probably traumatized.

Here are some of the holes Michael has already filled with putty...

And another section....

Still another part...

Finally, the nice big hole that will require more than putty......


Here are some of the repair things he bought, but he also plans on putting up a sheet of plywood and nailing it to the studs before he puts up new shelving (the old one actually has a big curve in it now...but we will save what we can and use it in the garage).....

This will hopefully be part of the hole repair project....

If you move this over to the driver's side and include the whole headlight and front grill as being removed, you will have an idea of Kelly's car after she hydroplaned. Of course that doesn't include the fact that the car spun completely around and the rear passenger light got smashed up as well. Isn't it just too wonderful that she was unhurt and okay?.....

This goofy cartoon is supposed to be at the bottom with the rest of the jokes, but it would NOT let me drag it down, so here's a 'smile break' from all this craziness going on here...

This is the female pit bull that was wandering around our neighborhood and this is what she does when you try to take a picture....

The first thing Michael said was "WHAT HAPPENED TO HER POOR EARS...THEY LOOK BUTCHERED??" Fortunately for all of you, you cannot see the stitches and bloody stuff in these pictures...

She was also over bred as her teats have no resiliency and she's only about 2-3 yrs. old, according to our vet where they also took out her stitches, cleaned up her ears some more (I had been putting gobs and gobs of Neosporin on them with a Q tip) and gave her shots and tests . She has no intestinal worms but she does have heart worms and she needs to be spayed. Once again today I am going to continue calling around to see if someone will have financial pity on us and this puppy dog and give a discount so we can get her in adoptable condition...

The vet said she is a blue point and a super sweet pit bull. We discovered that we can get much better pictures with treats....

I had been in contact with a pit bull rescue site but she (the owner of the site) hasn't written back to me since Saturday. She did say there is a chance of finding a home for her if she's spayed and treated to get rid of the heart worms...

It has been pouring rain here and Tinka's old doghouse leaks so we have brought this dog inside where she has been perfectly behaved, not even attacking the cats or chewing up anything or having any 'accidents'...

We would consider keeping her ourselves but my daughter would not come to visit any more with the three grandbabies as she has read too many sad reports about pit bulls and she also said that my son and daughter-in-law would probably feel the same. I did speak to many, many people who work with and have had pit bulls (including our vet) who say that they have gotten a bad reputation due to what people have 'trained' them to be. So hopefully today will be a little less stressful as I call and call again to see what can be done about this sweet little dog.

The good news with Kelly's car is that we found a place that will fix it and is 'affordable'...the first place she went to quoted her over $5,000.000 to fix it!!! For awhile she will have a car with maybe a red hood and blue fender and white body but it will be safe and we can try saving for a paint job in the future.

The great news with the closet rod ripping out is that Michael was totally cool with and so was I. It was almost like comic relief and I'm actually excited about going through all of this stuff and giving lots away. Another God moment occurred yesterday when I got a phone call from "INSPIRE" and they were calling to ask for clothing donations for the homeless!!!!

Let's laugh alot.....

A doctor, a farmer and the president of an HMO (Health Maintenance Organization) arrive at the pearly gates. St. Peter hesitates, because heaven is getting kind of full. Finally he tells the doctor, "You may go in, for you have taken care of the sick in their time of need." Then he turns to the farmer and says, "And you, too, may enter for you have grown food to nourish your fellow man." Then St. Peter turns to the HMO executive. "Well, I guess you can come in too, but only for three days."
*********
Seen printed on the back of a Motorcyclist's leather Jacket:
If you can read this my girlfriend fell off.
***********

More Headlines and Ads:

LAWYER SAYS CLIENT IS NOT THAT GUILTY.

ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER

GROUND BEAST: 99 cents lb.

GAS CLOUD CLEARS OUT TACO BELL

BAR S SLICED BOLOGNA REGULAR OR TASTY SAVE 30 CENTS ON 2

OPEN HOUSE: BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON FREE COFFEE & DONUTS

KELLOGG'S POT TARTS - $1.99 box

FULLY COOKED BONELESS SMOKED MAN - $2.09 lb.
************
* On Sears hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping.

(Or at least let us send a photographer over if you do.)
* On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(Contact Superman for more information.)

* On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
(NO, instead use it like fancy soap and just tell us how you that.)

* Some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(Unless you like your food extra crunchy and tasteless.)

* On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head.
(For those of you with two heads, please call the front desk.)

* On Tesco's Tiramisu desert: Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
(This is located in the grocery aisle that says all shoppers must lay on the floor in this aisle if they are going to read ANY labels...disclaimer that is no longer just in the parking lot... "Not responsible for any damage caused by shopping carts.")

* On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.

(Surprise, surprise...)
* On packaging for a Rowenta Iron: Do not iron clothes on body.

(This is for those who are desperate to remove body wrinkles.)

* On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine Do not drive car or operate machinery.

(Not only does the cough syrup contain alcohol but the label makers have been drinking alot of it too.)
* On Nytol (a sleep aid): Warning: may cause drowsiness.

(This is enough to keep you awake worrying about the manufacturer.)
* On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children.

(Keeping out of adults is also a very good idea.)
* On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
(A few restrictions do apply to using these in outer space.)

* On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.

( After reading that I'm not sure I want to use it for any use!)
* On Sainsbury's Peanuts Warning: contains nuts.

(Also this warning has been printed by nuts.)
* On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(They forgot the important parts of chew and swallow.)

* On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Wouldn't you know it? They take all the fun out of operating a chainsaw!!)

~~~Loving Father, thank You for the blessings of so many solutions and please help us find a very loving home for this little abused dog and not get stressed about it all.

Tips on Tuesday To Remove The chains

Some things bare repeating just because they are so true and so good. Lately the news has highlighted so much bad behavior and disregard for others. This world obviously does NOT have enough tranquility and peace...

So where do we go and what do we do to find it?...

....

This answer is not 'blowing in the wind, my friend', nope...this answer is in our hearts and minds and words...

When we read or hear about cruelty, unfairness and insensitivity or if we are victims ourselves, we need to find that 'picture' of tranquility and place it in our hearts so that it will calm and sustain us...

A simple and loving prayer for peace for those who mostly cause chaos to us or the world will change things...the first change will be within ourselves and like a pebble in the water the rippling affect will spread to others...

We all have little or big chains that bind us to negative things and feelings, but we have the power to break them....

And then we can go back to that oasis of peace and help restore this world to what God meant it to be...peaceful and loving. when it's most difficult to be kind to the nasty clerk or waiter or manager or neighbor, that's when it's even MORE important to throw that 'pebble' of kindness into the stream of humanity....

Yes, peace comes with a price but the price is giving up our own bitterness and in the end that is all that matters. I remember a time when I was totally frustrated with my late husband Mario because it seemed he just didn't want to try hard enough in his physical therapy. He was in a re-hab facility at the time and I started to leave angrily and then suddenly I turned around and walked back and lovingly kissed him as he sat in his wheel chair. He asked me why I had come back and done that and I said "because I love you so much". This gave him the incentive to finally walk with his specialized walker. It is a moment I treasure forever because I gave my anger up and replaced it with love...

So what if we are just a little pebble in this ocean?...each and every little pebble makes a difference. We alone have the keys to remove the chains that wrongfully bind us to unkind ways and to use ourselves and our attitudes towards everything in a positive way for good...

Aren't baby animals a great example? They just ooze peace and love and playfulness...

Take the example of a little puppy who just plays and finds good things in life and will reward us and come to us even after being scolded, forgetting our 'bad' behavior...

So, the answer, my friend is so simple it's incredible and so difficult that it's simple...give up the hate, the cruel words, the nasty attitude that tries to slip out when we are cut off by someone while driving or hurt by someone in any way....

Keep this look on your face at all times even if you have to grit your teeth (fail at it six times and succeed seven) at first to do it, then slowly relax and let it become you...

Turn your chains into the shape of a heart and let that be your ruling force...

Think love and peace, become love and peace, spread love and peace...

You know the best way to really learn something well is to try to teach others, so I reflect and study and pray and try to succeed in doing all of this myself.

There are SO many chain letters and so many purport to do good, but the real good is in becoming a living chain letter of kindness. Feel free to ignore the paper ones and instead become a living, giving one...

Time for a chuckle or two....



Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

Becoming aware of Mary’s heroic act, the medical director immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable.

When he went to tell Mary the news, he said "Mary, I have good news & bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged, because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you’ve regained your senses.

The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, is still not stable and we found him having clothes pinned himself to a telephone line outside."

Mary proudly replied, "He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry."
**************

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town, and on this special occasion, a local newspaper reporter paid them a visit. He inquired as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

"Well," explained the husband, "it all goes back to our honeymoon. We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule."

"We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled. My wife quietly said 'That's once.' We proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly spoke: 'That's twice.' We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time. My wife promptly jumped off the mule and karate chopped him so many times that he took off running and was never seen again."
"I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when she looked at me and quietly said, 'That's once.'"
************
Two men from Ireland were Talking in a Pub
'I wouldn't go to America if you paid me,' said Michael.
'Why is that?' asked the Patrick.

'Well for one thing, they all drive on the right hand side of the road there.'
'And what's wrong with that?' inquired Patrick.

'Well', said Michael, 'I tried it driving in Dublin the other day and it's terrible.'
*************
Customer Bowled Over by Service

A car mechanic received a repair order that said to check for a clanking noise when going around corners so he took the car out for a test drive and made a right turn, then a left turn, each time hearing a loud clunk.

When he arrived back at the garage he returned the car to the service manager with this note: 'Removed bowling ball from trunk.'


~~~Thank You Lord for the blessings of all the good things that I can do to make this world more tranquil and loving.

A tip or two for you on Tuesday Tips

From Wikipedia, we learn...

"WD-40 is the trademark name of a water-displacing spray widely available in a variety of retail outlets. Developed in 1953 by Norm Larsen, founder of the Rocket Chemical Company, San Diego, California. It was originally designed to repel water and prevent corrosion,[1] and later was found to have numerous household uses.

WD-40 stands for Water Displacer. Larsen was attempting to concoct a formula to prevent corrosion, by displacing the standing water that promotes it. In the process, he arrived at a successful formula on his 40th attempt.[1] WD-40 is primarily composed of various hydrocarbons.

WD-40 was first used by Convair to protect the outer skin of the Atlas missile from rust and corrosion.[1][2] The product first became commercially available on store shelves in San Diego in 1958.[1]"

From a website devoted to WD 40 that claims over 2000 uses for it (just click to find out more)....


"Wonder How to Remove Grease & Protect Against Corrosion? WD-40 is the Answer!


Want to lubricate sticky drawers? Clean crayon from walls? Remove glue and adhesives? Look no further––WD-40 is the Answer. Learn thousands of new uses, from protecting ski bindings from corrosion to removing gum from hair and carpet, by browsing WD-40's 2000+ Uses List.



The uses of WD-40 described on this website were provided to WD-40 Company by end-users of the product, and do not constitute recommendations or suggestions for use of WD-40 by WD-40 Company. These uses, including the "Use of the Day," have not been tested by WD-40 Company. Consumers should exercise common sense whenever using WD-40. Always follow the instructions and take heed of any warnings printed on the
WD-40 packaging. "


I received this info in an e-mail, but I'm a little leery about a few of these....

"Ken East (one of the original founders) says "there is nothing in WD-40 that would hurt you..." When you read the "shower door" part, try it. It`s the first thing that has ever cleaned that spotty shower door. If yours is plastic, it works just as well as glass. It`is a miracle! Then try it on your stovetop... It is now shinier than it has ever been before.

1) Protects silver from tarnishing.
(Adds a delightful flavor to your next bite of food as well!)
2) Removes road tar and grime from cars.
(No more need for soap and water...what the heck, try bathing with it!)

3) Cleans and lubricates guitar strings.

(BUT can it make you play better or in my case, play at all?)
4) Gives floors that `just-waxed` sheen without making it slippery.
(Call me a skeptic, but using oil on a floor and no slipperiness...think it would give one that 'just fell down' look)

5) Keeps flies off cows.

(This one comes in so handy for the majority of us who have been so anxious to get a cow but have put it off due to the fly problem.)
6) Restores and cleans chalkboards.
(One of our esteemed bloggers, Jackie at Teacher's Pet can answer this one for us.)

7) Removes lipstick stains.

(AND leaves a nice lustrous greasy spot on the clothing.)
8) Loosens stubborn zippers.

(Ladies, help your poor husbands and start spraying all of his zippers...he's sure to thank you.)
9) Untangles jewelry chains.

10) Removes stains from stainless steel sinks.
(What happened to the stainless part in stainless sink??)

11) Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill.
(Think I need to watch them do this.)

12) Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing.
(Eileen would not like this as she is all for oxidation.)

13) Removes tomato stains from clothing.
(AND leaves oil?)

14) Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots.
15) Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors.
16) Keeps scissors working smoothly.
17) Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes.

(From the voice of experience, will also leave a nice puddle of oil if you don't put something under tha area to be sprayed.)
18) It removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor! Open some windows if you have a lot of marks.

(And you still enjoy breathing.)
19) Bug guts will eat away the finish on your car. Removed quickly, with WD-40!

(Have one of the children, each equipped with WD 40, ride on the hood, on the roof and on the trunk on long trips.)
20) Gives a children`s play gym slide a shine for a super fast slide.
(Gets them home for dinner faster too...they just slide across the yard and into the door ....make sure you leave your door open at all times.)

21) Lubricates gear shift on lawn mowers.
22) Rids kids rocking chairs and swings of squeaky noises.

(How about the squeaky kids themselves?)
23) Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open.
24) Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.

(But can it stop them from getting turned inside out on a windy day?)
25) Restores and cleans padded leather dashboards in vehicles, as well as vinyl bumpers.
26) Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.
27) Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans.
28) Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons, and bicycles for easy handling.
29) Lubricates fan belts on washers and dryers and keeps them running smoothly.

(OK, everybody...start opening up your washers and dryers and spraying away!)
30) Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools.
31) Removes splattered grease on stove.

(And replaces it with oil...not a great idea near a flame.)
32) Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging.
33) Lubricates prosthetic limbs.
(How about the all natural ones...they could REALLY use it?!)

34) Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).
35) Removes all traces of duct tape.
36) Folks even spray it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve arthritis pain .

(Think I've smelled a few of these people.)
37) Florida`s favorite use "Cleans and removes love bugs from grills and bumpers."
38) Protects the Statue of Liberty from the elements.
(Just glad I'm not the one going up and down the outside of the statue regularly with a can of WD 40!)

39) WD-40 attracts fish. Spray a LITTLE on live bait or lures and you will be catching the big one in no time.
40) Fire ant bites . It takes the sting away immediately and stops the itch.

(Will definitely be trying this one.)
41) WD-40 is great for removing crayon from walls. Spray on the mark and wipe with a clean rag.
42) If you`ve washed and dried a tube of lipstick with a load of laundry, saturate the lipstick spots with WD-40 and re-wash. Presto! Lipstick is gone!
43) If you spray WD-40 on the distributor cap, it will displace the moisture and allow the car to start. "

Now for a few chuckles....

The joke about WD-40 ("for things that should move, but don’t") and duct tape ("for things that do move, but shouldn’t") dates to the 1990s.
***********

The Cleaning Woman

There was a little old cleaning woman that went to visit the local church. When the invitation was given at the end of the service, she went forward wanting to become a member. The pastor listened as she told him how she had accepted Jesus and wanted to be baptized and become a member of the church.

The pastor thought to himself, "oh my, she is so unkempt, even smells a little, and her fingernails are not clean. She picks up garbage, cleans toilets - what would the members think of her." He told her that she needed to go home and pray about it and then decide.

The following week, here she came again. She told the pastor that she had prayed about it and still wanted to be baptized. "I have passed this church for so long. It is so beautiful, and I truly want to become a member."

Again the pastor told her to go home and pray some more. A few weeks later while out eating at the restaurant, the pastor saw the little old lady. He did not want her to think that he was ignoring her so he approached her and said, "I have not seen you for a while. Is everything all right?"

"Oh, yes," she said. "I talked with Jesus, and he told me not to worry about becoming a member of your church."

"He did?" said the pastor.

"Oh, yes" she replied. "He said even He hasn't been able to get into your church yet, and He's been trying for years."
*****************

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk. "That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out.

The girl snapped up the package, smiled and pointed to the old geezer standing beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill."
**************
"What time does the library open?" the man on the phone asked.
"Nine A.M." came the reply. "And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?"
"Not until nine A.M.?" the man asked in a disappointed voice.
"No, not till nine A.M.!" the librarian said. "Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?"
"Who said I wanted to get in?" the man sighed sadly. "I want to get out."
**************
Two confirmed bachelors sat talking, their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said one, "but I could never do anything with it." "Too much fancy work in it, eh?" asked the other. "You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same
way - 'Take a clean dish."
****************

~~~For the blessings of wholesome and safe solutions to cleaning problems and for the ability to keep ourselves wholesome and safe, I thank you God.

Remedies for Something

Eileen at Umma's World had suggested a day for giving out household tips, and it was something I had even thought about in the past, so for anyone who would like to join in on one or two little (or many big) tips that have helped you in any way, shape or manner (cleaning, cooking, praying, medical remedies, getting hubby to say "Wow, that's awesome...I'd just love to wash the floor and do the toilets." So let's have a try at Tips on Tuesdays to help each other...

First, for all those who have wondered how to preserve all those eggs you have been getting from family and friends, here is the solution....

Don't know how much help these two vintage articles can provide but at least the guy above DID take his own medicine. Anyone have any old Nervine around? This could prove to be a BIG help for Diana at Welcome To My world, so if you find it, please send it to her asap...


Don't you just love Before and After pictures? So here's a home decorating idea and it can even be re-purposing...just repaint your phone the color you would like...for an added surprise, don't tell your family even when it's still wet...
How many of you out there have admitted to being all fagged out?? All that can now be changed with a great old stand by still available today...

Then there are those headaches that won't give up...so, to the rescue we have some more (apparently, a few millennium ago alka seltzer cured just about everything)...

Now for some REAL tips for today...

"Look what you can do with Alka-Seltzer!

Clean a toilet! Drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush and flush. The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous china.

(Now you MUST get on your hands and knees and check all around your toilet bowl to see if it is vitreous or not...if it turns out to be just regular china, then rip it out and use it for dishes!)

Clean a vase! To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets.
(What the heck...just do all your glasses this way...eye glasses beach glass, windows...you will have to throw it on the windows but they will sparkle.)

Polish jewelry! Drop two Alka-Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes.

(Just think how you could impress dignitaries at a formal gathering by sharing how you clean your jewelry...what the heck, make a lasting impressions and tell them about the drains too!)

Clean a thermos bottle! Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka-Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary.)

(And if you forget altogether, the user of the bottle in question will have no headache with lunch the next day!)

Unclog a drain! Clear the sink drain by dropping three Alka-Seltzer tablets down the drain followed by a cup of Heinz White Vinegar. Wait a few minutes, then run the hot water. "
(You've heard of what a headache this can be, well if you use something for a headache, it can cure this headache!)

Alka Selzer (the last jokes) can even make you smile or laugh...

The husband had just finished reading the book, MAN OF THE HOUSE.
He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife.
Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know
that I am the man of this house, and my word is law!
I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished
eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after
dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax.
And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and
comb my hair?"
His wife replied, "The funeral director."
*************

This is a real story submitted by an opthomologist...

I was performing a complete physical,
including the visual acuity test.
I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began,
"Cover your right eye with your hand."
He read the 20/20 line perfectly. Now your left."
Again, a flawless read. Now both," I requested.
There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line.
I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked;
he was standing there with both his eyes covered.
I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.
*************
Now I wouldn't say this Alka-Seltzer is old...

Performers behind a curtain inside truck are asking : How old is it?
I wouldn't say this Alka-Seltzer is old, but these two tablets are made of stone.

But seriously, I wouldn't say this Alka-Seltzer is old...
How old is it?
I wouldn't say this Alka-Seltzer is old, but drop it in water and you'll hear "Ploppeth Ploppeth Fizzeth Fizzeth!"

I say, I say, I wouldn't say this Alka-Seltzer is old...
How old is it?
I wouldn't say this Alka-Seltzer is old, but its original ad campaign was "Oh! That's a spicy dinosaur meatball!"


*I wouldn't say this Alka-Seltzer is old...
How old is it?
I wouldn't say this Alka-Seltzer is old, but it comes in two flavors: Original and New Salt.

*Seriously. Seriously. Seriously, I wouldn't say this Alka-Seltzer is old...
How old is it?
I wouldn't say this Alka-Seltzer is old, but the label warns: "Do not mix with grog. Do not operate heavy dinosaur."

I wouldn't say this Alka-Seltzer is old...
How old is it?
I wouldn't say this Alka-Seltzer is old, but the instructions read, "Just add water...when well is discovered or dug."

~~~Thank You dear Lord for the blessings of new solutions...may we always be a part of the solutions and not a part of the problems in this world!