One day, a man walked into an appliance store.
"Do you sell color televisions?"
"Yes," said the clerk. "Yes, we do."
"Then give me a green one."
*************
A favorite story among color-film processors concerns the negative of a poodle which a woman sent to a photo-finishing lab. When the print was made, the dog came out looking green. Figuring that there must have been a mistake in the color balance, a problem which plagues color processors, the lab tried again and again, and finally got the dog to come out a kind of improbable tan.
The woman who sent in the negative was furious when she got the picture of the tan poodle, which, she informed the lab, she had dyed green.
************
Keep the Green Side Up!
A woman hired a contractor to repaint the interior of her house. The woman walked the man through the second floor of her home and told him what colors she wanted for each room.
As they walked through the first room, the woman said, "I think I would like this room in a cream color."
The contractor wrote on his clipboard, walked to the window, opened it and yelled out, "Green side up!"
He then closed the window and continued following the woman to the next room. The woman looked confused, but proceeded with her tour.
"In this room, I was thinking of an
offblue."
Again, the contractor wrote this down, went to the window, opened it and yelled out, "Green side up!"
This baffled the woman, but she was hesitant to say anything. In the next room, the woman said she would like it painted in a light rose color.
And once more, the contractor opened the window and yelled, "Green side up!"
Struck with curiosity, the woman mustered up the nerve to ask, "Why do you keep yelling 'Green side up' out my window every time I tell you the color I would like the room?"
The contractor replied, "Because I have a crew of
blondes laying sod across the street."
*****************
We Want Two Budgies
Two
blonde guys walk into a pet store. One says to the store owner, "We want four budgies."
The owner asks, "Do you want two males and two females, or all males or all females."
The
blonde says, "It doesn't matter. Whatever you have."
The owner then asks, "Is green okay? We only have shades of green."
Again, the
blonde says, "It doesn't matter. Whatever you have."
The owner says, "OK, then," gets four random budgies and puts them in a pet carrier. The second
blonde guy gets out his wallet and pays for them. They leave with the birds.
They then drive to a high cliff. The first
blonde reaches into the pet carrier and takes out two of the birds. Grasping them firmly, he flaps his arms and jumps off the cliff. He falls like a rock and goes SPLAT at the bottom.
The second
blonde looks over the cliff at his friend and says, "Dang. This budgie jumping isn't what it's cracked up to be."
~~~Thank You Lord for the blessings of all the beautiful greens on this earth, may we respect and preserve them always.