Return of the animals

This guy looks pretty scary and don't think you can outrun him either! Just remember there are people like this and we need to "pull their teeth" by our kind acts! (So, those of you who got your pliers, clamps etc. out, you need to put them away!)

Alligators

"An Alligator is a crocodilian in the genus Alligator of the family Alligatoridae. The name alligator is an anglicized form of the Spanish el lagarto ("the lizard"), the name by which early Spanish explorers and settlers in Florida called the alligator.

This can be scary on a lot of levels...I sure wouldn't want to come across what the Spanish would call a real alligator if this was lizard like!

There are two living alligator species: the American Alligator (Alligator mississippiensis) and the Chinese Alligator (Alligator sinensis).

The first one is easy to find as it lives only in Mississippi and the other one has severe sinus problems (I can empathize here).

Alligators are characterized by a wider snout and eyes more dorsally located than their crocodile cousins. Both living species also tend to be darker in color, often nearly black but color is very dependent on the water. Algae-laden waters produce greener alligators; alligators from waters with a lot of tannic acid from overhanging trees are often darker (although the Chinese alligator has some light patterning.)

Wonder if a bubble bath (Bernie would recommend lavender to 'soothe the beast' in them) would lighten their color?

Also, in alligators only the upper teeth can be seen with the jaws closed (in contrast to true crocodiles, in which upper and lower teeth can be seen), though many individuals bear jaw deformities which complicate this means of identification.

Bear in mind that if you should feel the need to identify them this way, prying their mouths open is highly discouraged!

The eyes of a large alligator will glow red and those of a smaller one will glow green when a light is shined on them. This fact can be used to find alligators in the dark.

In this case green does NOT mean go (as in go ahead and leisurely check him out) and red does NOT mean stop (as in to pause and gawk)...they BOTH mean "what on earth were you thinking getting this close, anyway?!"

An average American alligator's weight and length is 800 lbs. and 13 feet long. According to the Everglades National Park website, the largest alligator ever recorded in Florida was 17 feet 5 inches long (5.3 meters). The largest alligator ever recorded measured 19 feet 2 inches (5.8 meters) and was found on Marsh Island, Louisiana. Few of the giant specimens were weighed, but the larger ones could have exceeded a ton in weight. The Chinese Alligator is smaller, rarely exceeding 7 feet (2 meters) in length.

They refused to be weighed because of how much they had gained eating gawking humans.

An alligator's lifespan is usually estimated in the range of 50 years or more. A specimen named Muja has resided in the Belgrade Zoo in Serbia since the zoo's opening in 1936, making it at least 70 years old. "

Obviously, this guy has only been eating health conscious human gawkers.

Fun Alligator Facts
"- There are only two countries on earth that have alligators: the United States and China.

- The Chinese alligator is endangered and lives only in the Yangtze River valley, though currently Rockefeller Wildlife refuge in southern Louisiana has several in captivity in an attempt to preserve the species. There are only estimated to be a couple of dozen left in the wild. There are many more of these alligators in zoos around the world than in the wild.

- Although alligators have heavy bodies and slow metabolisms, they are capable of short bursts of speed that can exceed 30 miles per hour, though this could more properly be classified as a short fast lunge rather than a dash.

- Alligators are opportunistic feeders, eating almost anything they can catch. When they are young they eat fish, insects, snails, and crustaceans. As they grow they take progressively larger prey items, including: larger fish such as gar, turtles, various mammals, birds, and other reptiles.
- While alligators are often confused with crocodiles, they belong to two quite separate taxonomic families, and are as distinct from one another as humans are from gorillas. As for appearance, one generally reliable rule is that alligators have U-shaped heads, while crocodiles are V-shaped - which can be remembered by noting that "A" in alligator comes before "C" in crocodile, and "U" comes before "V."

Q: What is worse than an alligator with toothache?

A: A centipede with athlete's foot!

"Zebra

Zebras are ungulates, which just means hoofed animals. They belong to the Equidae family, the horse family. Zebra have excellent eyesight and hearing.

There are three main species of zebra: Plains Zebra, Mountain Zebra and Grevy’s Zebra.
Plains Zebra (Equus quagga) are sometimes called common zebra, because they are the most common and geographically widespread. Plains subspecies include; Grant’s, Burchell’s, and Chapman’s or Damara. Grant’s zebras have a V-shaped pattern of stripes midway on their bodies. Burchell’s stripes are wider and become horizontal toward the rear. The zebra with dark and light stripes is the Damara (also called Damarland).
There are two categories of Mountain Zebra: Hartman Mountain and Cape Mountain. Their stripes are narrow at the front and get wider at the back, while the rear spine and upper tail are marked with a zipper-like pattern. They also have something that no other equine has—a dewlap or wattle of flesh under the throat.

These zebras are also good rock climbers.
Grevy’s Zebras are thought to be the oldest zebra type. They have a short, thick neck. Their stripes are narrower than other zebras and have one long stripe that runs along their back, plus they have a white belly. Grevy’s are the biggest zebra, yet they need less water than other types. However, they are endangered by lost of habitat, competition with domestic animals for water, and by poachers killing them for their hides. "

Fun Zebra Facts

"- In South Africa there is a project to bring back the Quagga, an extinct subspecies of the Plains Zebra.

- Zebras can run up to 40 miles per hour and baby zebras can run an hour after they are born!

- In ancient Rome Grevy’s zebras were called hippotigris and trained to pull carts for the circus.

- On the Serengeti plains, Burchell’s zebras sometimes form migratory herds of tens of thousands!

- Not only can you tell what type of zebra it is by its stripes, but no zebra has exactly the same stripes."

Q: What did the blond name her pet Zebra?

A: Spot

Some fun and funny observations:

Two Dozen Pure Witticisms

I started out with nothing...I still have most of it.
Some days you're the dog, some days the hydrant.

I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.

Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.

If all is not lost, where is it?

It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.

The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.

I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway through.

It was all so different before everything changed.

Nostalgia isn't what is used to be.

Old programmers never die. They just terminate and stay resident.

A day without sunshine is like a day in Seattle.

I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few.

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip round the sun.

The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).

If you're living on the edge, make sure you're wearing your seat belt.

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.

Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.

Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get!

~~~Thank You, Lord for the blessings of alligators, may we make them gentler (especially if they come in the form of the way people act) and for the Zebras, may we appreciate their beauty.

Now, where was I??

This Sunday should have been named super busy bee Sunday!

Our early day started with going to a five week, adult education class at church called "World Vision". It's all about what our world vision should be, what the prevailing world view is and how it has changed. There was so much information and the poor guy had to hurry through this Sunday presentation (so we could still get to Mass on time) as the projector was missing and he forgot some notes and had to go back home.

It's too easy to let the world creep into our lives and say that it's okay to be self-centered and uncaring and let bad things happen as long as we aren't directly impacted.

So , I give you John Donne's poem (by the way, apologies to Jackie for giving Earnest Hemingway credit here) :

For whom the bell tolls a poem (No man is an island) by John Donne


No man is an island,

Entire of itself.

Each is a piece of the continent,

A part of the main.

If a clod be washed away by the sea,

Europe is the less.

As well as if a promontory were.

As well as if a manner of thine own

Or of thine friend's were.

Each man's death diminishes me,

For I am involved in mankind.

Therefore, send not to know

For whom the bell tolls,

It tolls for thee.

After church, I then had to man (woman) the front table at church to help anyone interested in signing up for our International Day in the Fall. We had a couple (dressed, as they often are, in their countrys' attire) from Nigeria volunteer to help out with this wonderful project. So far, we have had about 40 people interested in representing or participating in this event. My committee is called the Cultural Committee, so we will meet with these people this Tuesday.

Next we went home to eat lunch and I had to prepare for the HOA meeting as I am now on the Board. There have been a lot of challenges with this too, as my position is secretary and that's a real HOOT (even the owls would hoot over that)! Having never been a secretary is one challenge, but the biggest one is working in Word itself. Now I love working in Excel with worksheets and all...happy as a clam there, but Word refuses to do what I want it to do, like put paragraphs where they should be or indent in only one spot. Word has a very stubborn mind of its own and makes me say bad things like 'rats' and 'puke' and even the big daddy of them all, 'puking crud". So generally, I just let Word have its way and try to be creative with where the words decide to go!

There was a general meeting following the Board meeting and I have learned a BIG lesson from all of this...NEVER go to one of these meetings without a cushion as the benches are like rocks there (bet you thought it was gonna be something philosophical and deep that I learned? Hard as I was fighting it, some of that seeped in too.)

By this time it was time to fix dinner and enjoy some time with Mikemal, so I didn't get to post yesterday, sniff, sniff.

Some very 'sweet' (but corny) jokes:

Q: Who is the bees favorite singer?

A: Sting!

Q: Who is the bees favorite pop group?

A: The bee gees!

Q: What do you get if you cross a bee with a skunk?

A: An animal that stinks and stings!

Q: What does a queen bee do when she burps?

A: Issues a royal pardon!

Q: How does a queen bee get around her hive?

A: She's throne!

Q: What does the bee Santa Claus say?

A: Ho hum hum!

Q: Why do bees hum?

A: Because they've forgotten the words!

Q: What kind of bees hum and drop things?

A: A fumble bee!

Q: What did the bee say to the flower?

A: Hello honey!

Q: What's a bees favorite flower?

A: A bee-gonia!

Okay, this section of jokes refuses (would NOT cut or copy and paste at all!) to move to the bottom (definitely a relative of Word here), so I will have another joke of two where they should be.

Each day, it is important to learn something new, so here is some new and (hopefully) helpful info:

"Bee Stings
All honeybee workers are potential stinging insects but usually sting only to defend their colony or themselves. To avoid stings, do not pass directly in front of a colony of bees. Instead, work from the side or back. If a flying honeybee comes near you, remain still or walk to a brushy area, building, or vehicle. Swatting at bees aggravates them .
If you are stung, remove the stinger immediately by scraping it with your fingernail or a knife.

Do not squeeze the stinger. This injects the full dose of venom into your skin. The scent of the poison often alarms and irritates additional bees, so either wash the wound site with a natural odor or apply a few puffs of smoke to mask the scent. Rubbing the wound only produces more itching and swelling.
Persons made ill by one or several stings ordinarily should not attempt to work with honeybees. Evidence of oversensitivity to bee stings includes a sharp change in the pulse rate, difficulty in respiration, loss of consciousness, and hives on various parts of the body. "

Where the jokes should be:

What is the clumsiest insect?

The Bumbling Bee.

What did the Bee say when he returned to the hive?

"Honey, I'm Home"

Q: How many surrealist painters does it take to change a light bulb?

A: A fish

2) Skeleton walks into a bar. "I'll have a beer and a mop."

A drunk stumbling down the street sees a nun in full habit. He rushes her and knocks her down. Standing over her, he yells, "Not so tough now, are you, Batman?"

~~~Lord, thank You for the blessing of being busy like bees and being cautious around them.

DANGER? The rest of the animals want out!

At first, I was going to put all of the (literally "hand painted") animals in this post, but then I wouldn't be able to fully appreciate each one or give some interesting info and crazy comments (it's all Lisa's 'fault' at Are We There Yet? for encouraging my goofiness by saying she liked my comments within my Blog). God gave me this gift of silliness and some wit (other times I can be quite witless) so, in my little way, I try to make this world a little brighter and better and kinder.

Oh, there will be at least two nice people who enjoy this next animal (Eileen and Diana). So hard to believe (with this one, at least that this is painted on some one's hand and arm! Both the artist in these 'paintings and the person with the really flexible hands and arms, deserve a lot of credit for a job well-done!

"Ø There are 19 species of owls that live in North America, more than 150 species around the world.

Ø Owls mate for life.

Ø Owls are found on all continents except Antarctica.

Ø Female owls are larger and heavier than the males of their species.

Ø Owls can twist their heads almost three-quarters of the way around without moving their bodies.

Ø Owls have three eyelids. The upper lid closes when an owl blinks and the lower closes when an owl sleeps. The third, a thin layer of tissue, moves diagonally across the eye from the inside to the outside, cleaning the eye.

Ø Some owls have one ear higher than the other, giving them excellent hearing that allows them to pinpoint the location of their prey.

Ø Most owls are nocturnal, except for a few species such as the Snowy Owl which hunts during daylight hours. Most owls hunt at night so they do not cast shadows that could alert rodents and other prey as they descend from the sky.

Ø Owls’ feathers are designed to muffle the sound of their flying, making them excellent hunters capable of sneaking up on their prey. Because owls are almost silent while in flight, it also allows them to hear and locate their prey.

Ø Owls are raptors, meaning they hunt other living things for their food. They are extraordinarily helpful to humans, helping control the rodent population.

Ø Some owls are known to hunt and eat animals as large as cats. "


Look how great this swan turned out! So many people have been blessed with different and wonderful talents that we can enjoy...

Some Little Known Facts About Swans
by Judy Sheldon, Jun 1, 2008
"Graceful and beautiful, the swan has long fascinated us. Here are some interesting facts about the exquisite creature.
Is there a creature more beautiful and graceful than the swan?
If there is, I cannot think of what creature that might be. The beautiful snowy feathers and long graceful neck have created a picture that many artists have worked hard to recreate. There are logos, associations, organizations, home décor and more inspired by the beauty.
The mute swan is the one that most Americans and Europeans are familiar with.
A swan mates for life
There are three species of swans found in North America:

Trumpeter: Black bill with red border on lower mandible; the red border may be present on some tundras. The eye is hard to distinguish, fading into the bill and the slope of bill is straighter.

Tundra: Black bill, usually with yellow spot of varying size in front of the eye; the spot may be absent on some. The eye is separate from the bill.

Mute: Orange bill with prominent black knob (called a caruncle) at base.

The black swan is native to Australia.
The black necked swan is native to South America.
The adult male is called a cob.

He is both a devoted father and husband. He has been known to use a blow from the “knucklebone” of his wing to defend his family. His blow is said to be strong enough to break a man's arm according to Donald and Louise Peattie in “Legend with Wings.”
The Mute Swan is perhaps the noisiest of all swans having eight different sounds in its repertoire
Swans can fly as fast as 50 to 60 miles per hour
Some have a wing span of 10 feet
Swans were nearing extinction in the 1930s in the U.S. but due to measures taken to protect them their population is again growing.
A baby swan or cygnet has a grey feathered coat until it reaches about 20 pounds. Then it too will become snowy white like its parents.

The regal beauty is one of the reasons for the swan to be considered as a royal bird in England and all swans found in the open waters belong to the crown
A mother swan has a sound similar to a yipping puppy, which it uses to call the young to her
Swans are the largest known flying bird
They are not known to attack humans without cause, and actually can remember humans that have been kind to them
They dine off of aquatic vegetation, insects, tiny fish and tadpoles. Because they are able to reach far below the water's surface, they have actually broken plants apart and left them floating on the water which enables smaller birds to find ready food.
The mute swan's neck has 23 vertebrae, which is more than any other bird
Their life expectancy in a protected environment is as long as 30 years
In Canada the swans of Lost Lagoon have their wing tendons clipped to keep them from flying away. While they cannot fly they can raise themselves above the water surface for a quick get away or to protect their young.
Swans are another of the many marvels created by God. "

Let's overload on information today and be impressive:

All polar bears are left handed.

So, when shaking hands with them, please keep this in mind.
All species of beetles are edible.

Coat them with chocolate and crunch away (double yuck).

All the gold ever mined could be molded into a cube 60 feet high and 60 feet wide.

Gives new meaning to the value of cubes as in "Could you please give me an ice cube of this"?
All the pet hamsters in the world are descended from a single wild golden Hamster found in Syria in 1930!

Please keep in mind that this fact says SINGLE, as in all by his or herself...hmmm???
All the platinum ever mined would fit into an average-sized living-room!

Now THAT'S the look I'm going after.
All the swans in England are property of the Queen.

Hopefully, that does not include feeding and cleaning up after them.
Almonds are a member of the peach family.

What about the rest of the nuts (like me?)...whose family are they in?
Almost all varieties of breakfast cereals are made of grass.

Moooo...guess I AM related to the cow!
Aluminum used to be more valuable than gold!

Now, we could get TONS of people to recycle this way!!
America once issued a 5-cent bill!

What do you mean...we STILL have it, we just call it the dollar bill!?!?!

Some cute and corny jokes to put a smile on your face (so you can put a smile on someone else's):

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovers that he is lost.
So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having him for lunch. The dachshund thinks, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now!" Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here." Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearly had me." Meanwhile, a monkey, who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes.
But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.
The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine." Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet ... and, just when they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says..................
"Where's that darn monkey? Sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard."

*********

A preacher went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule in the church yard. He called the police. Since there did not appear to be any foul play, the police referred the preacher to the health department. They said since there was no health threat that he should call the sanitation department. The sanitation manager said he could not pick up the mule without authorization from the mayor.
Now the preacher knew the mayor and was not to eager to call him. The mayor had a bad temper and was generally hard to deal with, but the preacher called him anyway.
The mayor did not disappoint. He immediately began to rant and rave at the pastor and finally said, "Why did you call me anyway? Isn’t it your job to bury the dead?"
The preacher paused for a brief moment and then replied: "Yes, Mayor, it is my job to bury the dead, but I always like to notify the next of kin first!"

The Texan and the Aussie
A Texas farmer decided to take a vacation in Australia. Driving through the countryside, he stopped to chat with a farmer. The Aussie was glad to show him around his farm. His showed the Texan his wheat field. The Texan said, "Our Texas wheat fields are twice that size."
Then the Aussie showed him his herd of cattle. The Texan said, "Our longhorns are twice that size."
When the Texan saw a herd of kangaroos, he said, "What are those?"
To which the Aussie replied, "Don't you have grasshoppers in Texas?"

Elephant and Kangaroo
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
Great big holes all over Africa.

~~~Lord, thank You for the blessings of creative people who bring joy into our lives.

You asked for it...You got it!!

First, let me say how excited I am this morning as "they're coming to take them away"...yup, there will soon be more termites in termite Heaven (located somewhere in a galaxy far, far away, where no spaceships made of wood ever land...hmmm...or maybe they are ALL wood since it is termite Heaven?).

Bet you thought (or is that hoped) we were all through with giraffes, didn't you?? Well this IS Friendly Friday Favorites, so they're baaacck. Almost forgot that I had these fascinating 'animals on hands and arms'...so here's a giraffe, pretty good, huh?













So, yes, I did find the CD that Brande burned for me four years ago when we went to the zoo, so these favorites will be pictures from the zoo. First, you get to see part of the stairs and how high we had to climb up to get to the giraffes. Everything looks hunky dory so far, the redhead thinks that this will be a 'normal' outing and visit to see the giraffes (now you must imagine that scary music they always play in the movies but the characters have no clue what is about to happen....). (Pssst...Eileen and Bernie, please take note that I am wearing very pink flip flops, that, now that I look, probably qualify as a stair step all by themselves...good thing I didn't fall off my shoes!)

This next, in a series of favorite photos, shows the way one SHOULD feed the giraffes, allowing the pellets to FALL onto the huge slobbery tongue...actually, you are supposed to slightly curl your lip even at this part (fortunately for you, Brande, my sweet DIL, was snapping away as best she could, but missed the drops of slobber and drool in all the photos.) More scary, impending doom music here....

Hold on to your seat, close your eyes and then squint to see, ...here is the really scary part!! Although you do miss the best part where this salivating, mucousy tongue actually wraps around Michael's wrist, but you can see that he has his hand ON the giraffe's tongue. You also miss the happy and goofy grin on Michael's face as his hand and arm get progressively more gacked with slobber. If he could have, Michael was trying to reach out far enough to check out this giraffe's tonsils!!

The Grand Finale, where Michael, with that little sly grin on his face, turns to me with a dripping and slimy hand and wants more pellets and asks me "what's wrong, honey, I figured you would love slobber and slime?? Let me give you a big hug." Can you see the 'delight' on my face and how pleased I am? Just love this picture...this explains the saying that 'a picture is worth a thousand words".

EVEN MORE information on giraffes (all reading this will now get an honorary degree in giraffetology):

Giraffe

The Giraffe is the tallest living animal and can reach vegetation that other herbivores can not. Giraffes eat foliage (broad leafed deciduous and evergreen), grass, shrubs and fruit, and don’t require a lot of water.

Michael would never make it as a giraffe since he thinks anything green or salads are strictly for using as compost, plus he drinks gallons of water a day.

Their favorite food is the acacia tree. A giraffe browses most of the day, eating anywhere from 15 to 65 pounds.

Now, Michael could handle the eating 15-65 pounds a day, if it's in hamburger form.

At night they lie down to rest and ruminate.

They also read good books and swap stories.
There are 9 subspecies of giraffe. Giraffes live in Africa in arid and dry-savanna areas where trees occur.

They also live in zoos where they pretend it's Africa.

They live in loose herds with no specific leaders. Their height makes it easy for them to spot predators from a distance, so if one signals danger, they all run.

Much like children hearing the ice cream man coming down the road.
Adult males weigh 2420 to 4250 pounds, females 1540 to 2600 pounds. Males are 9 to 11 feet at the shoulder and 18 to 19 feet at the top of their horns. Females are about 2 feet shorter.

Even here the females are more weight conscious whereas the males are more unconscious.
When giraffes walk they move both right legs forward, then both left. When running, however, the back legs come forward on the outside of the front legs.

This sounds pretty tricky...don't try this at home alone.

Baby giraffes are born while their mother is standing, so fall to the ground at birth. In about 20 minutes the calf can stand and are about 6 feet tall. Calves can grow as much as an inch a day and double their height in a year. 50 to 75% of calves are killed by lions and spotted hyenas during the first few months of life.

Just makes me say, thank Heavens I'm NOT a giraffe momma!

Fun Giraffe Facts
- Giraffes were once thought to be a cross between a camel and a leopard, which resulted in their scientific name of Giraffa camelopardalis.

It would be FAR more interesting to know WHO thought that one up!!
- To establish dominance males swing their heads at one another in tests of strength. This is called “necking.”

Definitely sounds like a guy thing here...can't you picture your man doing this?
- As they age, giraffes’ fur darkens. - A giraffe only has 7 vertebrae in a neck that can be 5 feet long.

Think we'd look better if our 'fur' darkened instead of going white.
- The reticulated giraffe (north Kenya) has a latticework of thin lines that separates the dark patches.

Whereas we get those thin lines but with white patches.
- Besides being prehensile, a giraffe tongue can be 18 inches long!

This is definitely the one Michael was feeding!
References
African Wildlife Foundation
Animal Diversity Web
Encarta

I had a little bit of a challenge, but finally found some more zoo jokes:

Little Jordan wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents, Al and Elaine, for days. Finally Elaine talked Jordan's reluctant father into taking him. And so Jordan and Al got into the car and left. "So how was it?" Elaine asked when they returned home. "Great," Little Jordan replied. "Did you and your father have a good time?" asked Elaine. "Yeah, but Daddy especially liked it," exclaimed Jordan, excitedly, "especially when one of the horsies came racing home at 30 to 1!"

^^^^^^^

Why did Michael the Irishman buy two tickets to the zoo?

One to get in and one to get out...

^^^^^^^

Caller: Finally! I got through! I've been trying to call the zoo for hours!

Zookeeper: Yes, all our lions were busy!

^^^^^^^^

A guy finds a sheep wandering in his neighborhood and takes it to the police station. The desk sergeant says, "Why don't you just take it to the zoo?" The next day, the sergeant spots the same guy walking down the street—with the sheep. "I thought I told you to take that sheep to the zoo," the sergeant says. "I know what you told me," the guy responds. "Yesterday I took him to the zoo. Today I'm taking him to the movies."

~~~Thank You, Lord, for the blessings of sharing favorite things with special people.

Peaceful Prayer

Since I have labeled my Thursdays to include my prayer group for this day, it always reminds me of what an important part prayer plays in my life. It re-focuses my life where it should be and keeps me on track, so let's try for some Peaceful Prayer.

The picture below could be included in one of my Friday favorites as it is a picture I fell in love with when my late husband, Mario and I went (many years ago) to Washington, DC and the National Cathedral there. It was a print with no frame and it touched my heart...so much beautiful, all encompassing love there...

So, when I think of prayer and peace, I remember what Jesus told His apostles, that He was giving them peace, but not the world's kind of peace...hmmm, and what does the world call peace but a lack of war or violence? Jesus' peace is one that includes caring for each other whether we agree or disagree about issues, wishing the best for, praying for and helping one another. No one said 'peace' was easy!! Sometimes we even create peace by avoiding situations that can cause dissension or problems, while still keeping these people in prayer and being kind to them.

While looking for peaceful prayer I found some nice photos to share. The one below is called "prayer alley" and is located in South Carolina. It's nice to imagine people walking down it and praying...it has a prayerful 'look', don't you think?

Then this little baby popped up and it said that she was praying and it does look like way...of course babies are so fresh from Heaven that they are experts!

Next there was this figure of someone praying intently and you can almost see the devotion and peacefulness etched into the face...







This pink one is bound to be one of Eileen's favorites as it is pink, but most importantly, it seems to just feel peaceful and prayerful...


In my 'blog travels', I have come across many lovely and inspiring sites, helping me to remember that it's not all about what is happening around me but what is above me, my Heavenly Creator, that will make me a better me. One of the many places that i get myself centered on God is at Tamara's Treasures, where there are short, insightful Scripture quotes and reflections.

For a blessed thought each day see Tamara.

This was another sweet find (and great idea) on the Internet search I did:

"Sometimes it is difficult having your own prayer time at home. The phone is jangling, kids are crying and there is always a pile of laundry. And I don't know about you but for me, there are always chores clamoring for my attention.

It seems impossible at times to
have a simple thought for myself, much less a prayer. But you can! You can find some solace in your own prayer garden.

Prayer gardens have been around for centuries and are currently finding their way back into our culture today. These private havens are perfect for spiritual people who enjoy some quiet time in nature to pray and meditate on the things of God.

Here are some great suggestions to create your own peaceful prayer garden.It doesn't have to be expensive or too time consuming. But just like any garden the more time and money you spend in it the more beautiful a harvest you can enjoy for yourself. Take some time to plan a small space in your own backyard where you can enjoy some quiet time in prayer and mediation before you get started.

Here are some elements you will need to create your own prayer garden.

First you will want to create the illusion of a small airy room. Outdoor gazebos or canopies are perfect for creating a small room. Or you can use mosquito netting hung from the limbs of trees. The netting creates a romantic, heavenly feel that you will love. However, netting will get dirty from being outdoors so you may want to pull the netting down when not in use.

The second element you will need are some comfortable places to sit, like a comfortable cushioned lawn chairs. It's good to have at least two. One for you and one for a heavenly visitor! You could also use rocking chairs. Stools and benches are great when they are cushioned.

Next set the atmosphere for worship with a CD player or music system playing peaceful music that will help you to enter into a time of prayer. I enjoy instrumental CD's by Hillsongs and other worship teams while in my garden.

Then consider your decorations. You could have some candles, preferably shielded candles in glass containers to keep from tipping over and starting a fire. Also consider a water feature or bird bath that will lend a touch of peace to your prayer garden. Then you could add scripture
plaques or word rocks that say PEACE, FAITH, and LOVE.Statuary is a nice touch as well. Statues of Christ and angels scattered through your prayer garden will keep you in the prayer mood while walking through and around your space.Flowers and butterfly bushes are important too. You can buy nice potted flowering bushes that will attract butterflies and birds. Check with your local Lowes or Home Depot to get the best deals on decorations for your garden."

Since there are angels in this post, it reminded me of a story my loving mother once told me about me. I must have been about four or five and mom was going somewhere with me and we took the bus together for the first time, in busy Chicago. My mom said that there were some black people on the bus standing next to us and I kept on looking at them and staring attentively, this being my first time seeing any one whose skin was different from mine. My mother said she was feeling nervous as she could tell I was about to make a comment. Finally I said "Mommy, look, angels!" All those people broke out in big grins!!

How about some smiles and chuckles?

The teacher in our Bible class asked a woman to read from the Book of Numbers about the Israelites wandering in the desert. "The Lord heard you when you wailed, 'If only we had meat to eat!' " she began. "Now the Lord will give you meat. You will not eat it for just one day, or two days, or five, or ten or twenty days, but for a month—until you loathe it."When the woman finished, she paused, looked up, and said, "Hey, isn't that the Atkins diet?"

********

A motorist was driving in the country when he came upon a priest and a rabbi standing on the shoulder of the road, fishing. Next to them was a sign that read "Turn Around. The End Is Near."

The motorist didn't like to be preached to, so he rolled down the window and yelled, "Mind your own business, you religious nuts!"

A few seconds later the two fishermen heard tires screech, then a splash.

The rabbi turned to the priest and said, "I told you we should've just written, 'Bridge Out.' "

**********

One Sunday, while serving as a guest minister to a local church, I noticed in the program an order of worship with which I was unfamiliar. Since the service had already begun, I was unable to ask anybody about it. So when we reached that particular moment, I swallowed my pride and asked from the pulpit, "What do I do now?" Someone in the congregation shouted back, "You say something and we respond." Embarrassed, I admitted, "For the first time in my life, I'm speechless." And the congregation responded, "Thanks be to God."

***Thank You Lord, for the blessings of finding good in others and trying to be peaceful prayers.

It's time for a Giraffe story

How about if I do this backwards for a change? And tell you the story last? Of course, if you really can't stand it, you could scroll down and read the little story first.

Here are some giraffes from around our house. These are ALL Michael's giraffes because of what happened. I had to hold this little baby giraffe up because he's only a baby and can't seem to sit up well on his own.

This is a special bank giraffe that I found in the gift shop of the hospital right after Michael had his open heart surgery four years ago. It felt like a little gift from God to be able to find it when I wanted something special to give Michael. It is a 'for quarters only' bank so he can get rich quick that way!

Next we have the bigger stuffed giraffe and this is the momma to the baby one (my thoughts), but I can't recall where I got him. (But then again, I usually can't recall what I went downstairs for until I come back upstairs...the rule seems to be that the farther away I get from what I needed, the sooner I can remember what it was!)

This next guy is the biggest one we have and he came from Kirkland's and was a Christmas gift two years ago (once in awhile there a few live brain cells in my head and I remember something). He was supposed to be a doorstop, but I didn't want him getting kicked around because giraffes are supposed to be the kickers, not the kickees! (In the back you will see some of Tinka's Freshies and trust me, her breath at times, needs all the freshies it can get).

I found this sign at the zoo and it hangs on the wall to the side of Michael's sink. It fits in perfectly with my jungle themed bathroom (will share that in a future post as well).
Now for the slightly slimy story (great alliteration, there, huh?):

Shortly after we got married, we went to the Phoenix Zoo (no, I was NOT trying to take him back). For those of you who have never been, it is designed to look incredibly like their natural habitat. And for those of you who have never gotten up close and personal with a giraffe, let me tell you that it is a very interesting experience...we had to climb up a lot of stairs and go to a railing, much like the one in this picture. There was a vending machine with giraffe pellet food that you could buy and then put in your hand and drop on the giraffe's tongues when they came up to the railing.

Now, one would think that the 'rules' would be followed with feeding them this way, but noooooooooo, not Michael. Instead of dropping it on their tongues (like everybody else, I might add), he decides to let the giraffe eat from his hand!! The giraffes in these pictures have small tongues

compared to the big, black, slobbering tongues of the giraffes he was feeding. The giraffe even wrapped his drooling, slimy, dripping with saliva tongue around Michael's hand...totally disgusting. Then Michael has the nerve to turn to me and put his dripping hand out for more food! Brande was taking pictures and she caught me making the most disgusted face...it is one of my very favorite pictures. Michael was happy as a lark, with his drippy hand as he kept on feeding them! It made me laugh so hard...of course he also wanted to hug or shake hands with all of us.

Interesting Facts About Giraffes
♪
"The Latin name for the giraffe is Giraffa camelopardilas, which reflects the idea of a camel with leopard spots.

Their natural habitat is the savannah of Africa where they can grow to 20 ft tall.

If you think about it, that must put some load on their heart to pump blood to that height.

When in a group, they can be referred to as a 'tower of giraffes'. Other collective nouns include a corps of giraffes and more commonly, a herd of giraffes.

Male giraffes are called bulls and the females are cows.

Young giraffes are called calves, although some people call them cubs. Within an hour of birth these babies are able to walk with their mothers. Amazingly, these calves are as tall as the average person.

If you ever see live giraffes, then the first surprise is how graceful they are; despite their long legs and neck, they glide over the ground. To prevent them tripping over their own legs, when they run, the front legs land inside the hind legs. Still pictures of giraffes don't do justice to their athletic movement in nature.

Just as we humans all have distinct faces, so giraffes all have distinct markings or patterns.

Watch for the neck, giraffes show their emotions by the position of their head, submissive - near the horizontal; aggressive, standing tall. It strikes me as one of the wonders of nature how their hearts can pump blood all the way up to their heads.

Let us correct some mis-conceptions about giraffes:

a) Giraffes can lie down.

They just can't TELL lies.

b) They only have the same NUMBER of neck vertebrae as other mammals - 7.

But one vertebrae is 30 feet long!

c) Giraffes are NOT mute. They converse in grunts, but also by sound outside the human hearing range.

Much like the human adult male.

d) Their 'horns' are really bony protuberances covered with skin and are true horns like cattle. "

Does this mean they're related?

Now for a few (corny) giraffe jokes:

A man walked into a bar with his giraffe, and asked the barman for a pint for himself & one for the giraffe. They drank up, and then a few more followed, and before long, the giraffe (who was a very inexperienced drinker) was flat on the floor. The man, naturally, couldn't carry such a large animal home, so he left it in the bar, and, as he was leaving, the barman yelled: "Hey, you can't leave that lyin' there!"
The man turned around and said, "It's OK, it's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedgehog?

Answer: A six-foot toothbrush.

Question: Why do Giraffes have long necks?

Answer: Because their feet stink.

~~~Thank You, Lord for the blessings of giraffes and learning new things and enjoying Your creation.

The Saga continues...and here it is...

Well, one termite guy down and one to go...no I didn't "deck" him, only want to deck the termites, but they might like that as it has the word deck and decks are made of wood. Whew, can you tell I'm slap happy here? The above picture looks like it could be termite Heaven.

Angie from Can you all hear me in the back fears that I am heading for Jupiter to get away from these critters, but no, I was actually wishing they were on Jupiter (no offense to any Jupiterians).

This will be another back and forth post as I will have to break to go talk to the next exterminator...gosh, don't you wish you were me??? Hang on...I will be back with more exciting, on the edge of your seat news...(as well as a joke or two...I figure, if the news doesn't bring you back, the jokes will :-) ).

Okay, a decision has been made and I will cancel the other appointment with the final (would have been third) exterminator on Friday...boy, what I just wrote sounds strange! Anyway, the man who came today and inspected everything gave me a much better price for the initial treatment as well as a great yearly guarantee rate! I firmly believe in making everyones' burden lighter in this world, so, Heaven forbid anyone else should have this problem, but if you do, let me share this experience.

First of all, let me explain that I am a worrywart, but I come by it honestly as my sweet mother was an expert in this field, so I "studied and studied", became a wife and mother and honed it to a fine science. The plus side is that when I remember to put it in God's Hands everything is hunky dory, but too often I try to pilot the plane!This means that I did remember to pray before I even chose who to call...have you ever prayed over the Yellow Pages? It's different...but it works as I really haven't fretted about this whole ordeal, not too many heeby jeebies or worry about the cost.

Since you probably do not have either of the Exterminators where you are, I will not use names, just advise you, that in all things, comparative pricing is a HUGE help and can save a ton of money.

Ironically, I really liked the first guy yesterday, he was personable and gave a lot of information, but I didn't like the idea of the traps that he wanted to put out permanently (if anyone wants info on this, please e-mail me so I don't bore everyone else) plus his price was going to be $1,080.00 for treatment and $300.00 rate per year, with someone coming out ( and you needed to be at home) once every three months to check the bait traps.

Today's person was very nice, not quite as informative (but answered all questions easily). the good news is that he doesn't believe the traps are that great of an idea as they only draw the termites and don't kill them until the check up time when something is poured down there. The chemical he uses effectively kills all the termites and his guarantee (same as guy #1) covers fixing and repairing any damage should it occur as well as re-treating if ever necessary (he said this is extremely rare). His price for the treatment is $700.00 with an annual guarantee rate of $175.00!!! Big difference, but who would know better??

Plus, #1 said there would be a two week wait and we'd have to trim all our shrubs back 12-18 inches (a daunting task, to say the least), whereas #2 man said that they can be here by Friday morning and have long drills so no shrub cutting!! YA HOO!! I am a "Happy Camper" with termites, soon to be even happier...may soon be seen doing a happy dance when they go to termite Heaven!!

Again, I truly pray you never need this information, but that this can help you if you do, but remember, the most important part is to pray about it!!!

P.S. Thank you all, also, for all the sympathy and comments...that feels so good and you are all such a blessing to me...wow...puts happy tears in my eyes!!! (See what having termites can do for you??)

Some goofiness I found in my e-mail, this time, for you to enjoy:

Proof reading is a dying art,

.....would you say?

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

This one was caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

No, really? Ya think?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Now that's taking things a bit far

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

What a guy!

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

See if that works any better than a fair trial!

War Dims Hope for Peace

I can see where it might have that effect!

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Ya think?!

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Who would have thought???

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

They may be on to something...hmmm

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

Oklahoma's new construction program!

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

He probably IS the battery charge!

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Weren't they fat enough?!

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

That's what he gets for eating those beans!

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Do they taste like chicken?

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Chainsaw Massacre all over again.

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Boy, are they tall!

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?

~~~Thank you Lord for the blessings of people like exterminators to help resolve our problems.

VERY unwelcome visitors

Now here's what we have....no, sorry to say, it is not this pretty bird that we have, but what you see in his (Eileen is right...all birds are 'he'...makes the little birdies kind of miraculous) mouth!

Yes, yuck...it's a termite!! Michael had a wonderful idea to surprise me by working on cleaning up the garage while I was out and about yesterday. He enlisted Kelly's aid and the surprise was on them when the happily munching termites were found! I was delighted with the results in the garage, but not so delighted with the termites. So today I will be calling some companies to find a way to evict these guys. Don't think the Pyola is a viable option here and I doubt Michael would want to be squirting it between walls or drilling holes into the concrete (I could be wrong here, of course, and this may be something that would totally thrill him!)


Now here are some crazy wild cats sitting and standing on termite mounds, for Pete's sake. What is their problem...guess they don't get the creepy crawlies from insects.

Now, for those who wish to have A COMPLETE TERMITE education or at least a partial grasp, I found this on the Internet:

"Not to be confused with Termit or thermite.

(Don't think I will confuse them with these terms and would they care if I did ? Do termites move out if you hurl insults at them?)

TermiteFossil range: 228–0 Ma


Formosan subterranean termite soldiers (red colored heads) and workers (pale colored heads).
Scientific classification
Kingdom:
Animalia
Phylum:
Arthropoda
Class:
Insecta
Subclass:
Pterygota
Infraclass:
Neoptera
Superorder:
Dictyoptera
Order:
Isoptera
Families
MastotermitidaeKalotermitidaeTermopsidaeHodotermitidaeRhinotermitidaeSerritermitidaeTermitidae
The termites are a group of social insects usually classified at the taxonomic rank of order Isoptera (but see also taxonomy below). As truly social animals, they are termed eusocial along with the ants and some bees and wasps which are all placed in the separate order Hymenoptera. Termites mostly feed on dead plant material, generally in the form of wood, leaf litter, soil, or animal dung, and about 10% of the estimated 4,000 species (about 2,600 taxonomically known) are economically significant as pests that can cause serious structural damage to buildings, crops or plantation forests. Termites are major detrivores, particularly in the subtropical and tropical regions, and their recycling of wood and other plant matter is of considerable ecological importance.
As eusocial insects, termites live in colonies that, at maturity, number from several hundred to several million individuals. They are a prime example of decentralised, self-organised systems using swarm intelligence and use this cooperation to exploit food sources and environments that could not be available to any single insect acting alone. A typical colony contains nymphs (semi-mature young), workers, soldiers, and reproductive individuals of both genders, sometimes containing several egg-laying queens.
Termites are sometimes called "white ants", though they are unrelated to true ants."

Now these guys below are what we really need. They are called Aardwolves! They must be kissing cousins with Aardvarks. This first one is hunting for termites and I am saying "Over here...come on boy, nice Aardwolf...we have some super yummy treats for you. How are you at eating between sheet rock, boy?"

This next picture said that the Aardwolf is LISTENING for the termites. If I had known they were that loud with their rock (in their case, wood music) music, I would have been listening and evicted them myself...well me and my Pyola, that is.

Thoughts to keep one's thoughts away from termites:

Wisdom
"Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
I am in shape. Round is a shape.
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.
Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.
An optimist thinks this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears this is true.
There will always be death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every year.
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
I am a nutritional overachiever.
I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
Practice safe eating -- always use condiments.
A day without sunshine is like night.
It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes it comes alone.
Life not only begins at forty, it also begins to show."

Okay, here are the pitiful jokes for the pitiful termites:

What does a termite eat for breakfast?

Answer: Oak meal

REAL answer Marcy and Michael's home.

What did the toothless termite say when he walked into the bar?
Answer: Is the bar tender here?

Marcy asks who pulled his 'teeth' and where can I find him?

~~~Lord, I do thank You for the blessings of all Your creatures great and small, but can You help us love termites from afar...like maybe Jupiter?