Eileen's Pink Kitchen Dream...so many choices!

Some of these kitchens may leave my friend Eileen (@Umma's World) breathless with anticipation, or maybe just breathless...not sure what they will do for her hubby Ray, but time will tell...hopefully it will not involve some medication!

There are some stunning eye opening styles here, so it will really be hard to make choices easily.

If coffee isn't available or optional, this pink should do the trick to get you awake in the morning
or evening or any time, truly!

Now, for those who fancy polka dots or whatever is in this kitchen in massive amounts, here is the kitchen for you. Can't you just picture sweet Eileen in here, humming away (perhaps "they're coming to take me away, they're coming to take me away, but I just wish they'd hurry...Ray might be saying "wait, wait, take me with you!")"??

Sorry, Eileen, but no pink kitchen is going to be complete without a few major pink appliances and being the good friend that I am, I have searched and found some lovelies for you:

Here is a retro kitchen, but in order for this picture to work, you have to wait until your adorable grand daughter is this age (Ray, such a nice guy says"Whew, a reprieve of some sort!")

Last, but not least, NO ONE has to wait for this kitchen...it's here... it's now... it's WOW!!

Disorderly conduct

Three men stood before a judge on a charge of drunk and disorderly conduct in a public park. Judge: What were you doing?

1st man: Oh, just throwing peanuts in the pond.Judge: And what were you doing?

2nd man: I was throwing peanuts in the pond, too." Judge: Sounds harmless. And you, were you throwing peanuts in the pond as well?

3rd man: No, sir. I AM Peanuts!

Now, while Eileen is enjoying one of these new kitchen styles, here is some important trivia to remember regarding projects she may want Ray to undertake:

FOOD TRIVIA

Licking a regular size, multicolor stamp delivers .007 calories. A larger commemorative, such as *Elvis*, has .014 calories.

(Not only did HE gain weight, but he can help YOU gain it too!)

Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.

(This could be worth watching.)

Researchers at Harvard University, spurred by an urban myth, tested the effectiveness of Coca-Cola as a spermicide. The result: Diet Coke worked a little, but not well enough to qualify as a new form of birth control.

(Yet another reason why natural family planning is so right.)

Survey: 14% of those responding make milk part of their sex lives.

(Huh? have I lead that sheltered of a life?)

Derrick Johnson of Newport Beach, California was fired from his stock clerk job in a supermarket because he talked to USA Today about his membership in the Poultry Bowling Association. Johnson and fellow clerks on the night shift used frozen turkeys to bowl over "pins" - two liter soft drink bottles.

(It could be worse...they could have been using live turkeys!)

In August of 1993, the Economic Evening News of Taiyuan, China, reported that a woman in her thirties, unidentified in the story, had eaten more than 800 rubber nipples from baby bottles in the last three years. A province health official said all family members apparently liked the smell of rubber.

(Bet she had a lot of bounce to her step!)

The electric pickle is an experiment that was a tremendous success in freshman electronics class. You go to a deli, see, and get a big kosher dill pickle, seven or eight inches long. Then you cut the cord of an old electric appliance and strip the ends to expose two or three inches of split wire. (Unplug it first.) Get two two- or three-inch nails, wrap one strand of wire around each nail, and stick the nails into the pickle. Then plug in the cord. "After about ten seconds the pickle will light up, glowing and crackling. It's really quite bright. You can try it at home," says Franklin, "but don't touch the pickle."
(I know that Ray is just dying to try this one...it could work so well with the new house re-do project!)

~~~Lord, thank you for the blessings of silliness which help us relax and re-focus our lives.

Happy Birthday AnaMaria!

Today is Ria's birthday...actually her full name is AnaMaria which is my middle name translated into Spanish. All of our children got Spanish names because their daddy was raised in Venezuela (even though he was Polish by birth) and that was his native language. When Mario came to the States from Venezuela, he couldn't speak ANY English, so he had lots of Mexican and Puerto Rican friends at first.

Much as I love chocolate, I would sure love to have a piece of that cake pictured at the right or maybe it will be above this. Looks like it could be a hazelnut whipped cream delight, a definite favorite of mine!

Back to AnaMaria...when she was little she couldn't say her name, but she would try. It came out as Aaaa...ria, so the last part stuck with her and now she prefers it, although I love the sound of her full name. Having lost our first baby, a son born too early, I was ecstatic to be taking our daughter home, but Mario found me crying in our bedroom that same day. He very tenderly asked what was wrong (he couldn't handle my tears ever) and, even though I was so young, I said "She is going to grow up too fast!" It was good that this happened to me as it was such a blessing to make me cherish each moment as she was growing up.


Yesterday I forgot to mention that when I went down to help with the moving, we were eating together one night (before I asked if they ever pray at all), I waited for Ria to sit down and she asked why, so I said "So we can say Grace together." All she answered was "You didn't have to wait." She did hold hands with me and say Grace so that was a blessing that should be remembered.

Her favorite color as a little girl was purple and one of her first words was burble (her version of purple), something her Grandpa John proudly taught her.

Now for the Tickled on Tuesday jokes:

Birthday Surprise

A husband went to buy a birthday gift for his wife. Some friends had been invited over that night to celebrate her fortieth, and he wanted to get something special. At the store he spotted some cute little music boxes. One blue one was playing "Happy Birthday."

Thinking they were all the same, he chose a red one and had it gift-wrapped.
Later, at dinner, he gave it to his wife and asked her to open it.

When she lifted the lid, out came the tune to "The Old Gray Mare, She Ain't What She Used to Be!"

*************

Zero to 200

A couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.
"Look!" she said. "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me."
So, for her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.
Services will be at Downing Funeral Home on Monday the 12th. Due to the condition of the body, this will be a closed casket service. Please send your donations to the "Think Before You Say Things To Your Wife Foundation," Dallas, Texas.

Since Ria was born a blond, I can do these jokes:

House Fire

A dumb blonde calls the fire department and says, "Help me- my house is on fire!!" The fireman says, "Where do you live?"
The dumb blonde replies, "I don't know" The fireman asks, "How do you expect us to get there?"
The dumb blonde replies sarcastically, "Duhhhh, the little red truck"

**************

Birthday Gift

A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her

a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life. That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning. As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet. The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.

*****************

A Blonde airhead goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics. "So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?" The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying "Ehhhh... 22!"
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?" The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces "Five foot two!"
This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the interviewee won't have to count, measure, or look up. "Just to confirm for our records, your name please?" The airhead bobs her head from side to side for about ten seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying "MANDY!"
The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks - "What in the world were you doing when I asked you your name?" "Ohhhh, that!" replies the airhead... " I was just running through that song - 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear...' "





~~~~Thank you Lord for the blessing of Your infinite patience with us as we stumble and do things less than pleasing to You...please help us to be more patient.

***Pain + Prayer = incredible PEACE***

When I was a very young wife and became blessed with bringing home our first daughter, I idealized the whole thing, kind of like a Disney movie or, at least the old sit coms where everyone got along and helped one and other . (Is this what it's like to be on some weirdo wacko drugs? Drugs of any kind are pretty random and since I don't like to take anything unless absolutely necessary, guess my drug of choice would have to be labeled as "Make your family perfect, agree with doing all good things, no back talk, everyone thinks you are some super hero and they fall over themselves trying to help each other as well.") See how safe I am from any drugs??

There actually is a reason I am telling you this. I love my daughter Ria dearly but she is and always has been her OWN PERSON, which translates into "she has driven me stark staring crazy many times" (see, Diana, you are not alone!). She has turned out to be a very loving and patient mother even when under the extreme stress of moving to a new home, packing household goods, getting stuff out of their storage rental unit and dealing with three small children...I was very proud of her and told her so, during the time I spent there helping them to move as well as babysitting.


Now, for the "pain" part of this. Well, guess I need to preface this with the fact that all three of my children were raised to be good Christians. I even went to work just so that they could go to St. Anne's school. We all went to church every Sunday and said grace before every meal, even at restaurants (and the children were good with this). Well, guess which ones go to church now? NONE...but Ria ventured there occasionally and even had the first two baptised as well as always saying grace before meals and having them say their night time prayers. I figured that she was just putting off Julia's Baptism because she was NOT attending church, but then, during this long stay with her, I noticed that the children no longer said any prayers any time or any where! One night I asked her, as the children were being put to bed..."Don't you say any prayers any more?" She very curtly replied "No and I don't want to talk about it!"

Being who I am (a big sissy wuss who loves her children so deeply and wants to see them in Heaven, so this gave me a broken heart), I looked the other way and literally prayed so that the tears would stay in my eyes and not fall (feeling or knowing that this would only irritate her) and that I would know how to deal with this. Part of me (the speak before praying part) wanted to have a discussion about 'why not and how come' which would have only antagonized her and made her lash out at me and another hurt part of me (same goofy, let's not pray first part) wanted to just shun her emotionally for the rest of my stay.

Guess what? The Holy Spirit had different plans when I called out for help. The answer given to me was so outrageous...just keep praying and say nothing and be loving. I knew this answer was from God because I was so stunned by it (my own answers never stun me, although sometimes they have been known to 'horrify' me!) Every day I prayed the rosary and they all saw that and every day I did my daily Bible reading (have this terrific 365 day Bible that walks you through the entire Bible day by day) as well as my (esp prolonged as I was adding prayers for them) grace before meals.

Just like the peace rose above, I felt so much peace, realizing I was leaving it in God's Hands and being loving no matter what (somehow 'turning the other cheek' fits in here), so the rest of my stay went so well because of that. I also blessed the children at night, made Ria laugh with my crazy sense of humor and all went well.



This doesn't mean that I give up, far from it, nope, I have hope because I have Him who is Hope, so I will continue to pray for all three of my children and their sweet families to go to church and be the people God means them to be. All of them already are wonderful, loving and generous people and I only want them to be WHOLE by giving themselves completely to the One who made them.

Let's lighten this up for you, so that you leave with a smile and a chuckle:

~~~~~

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though they were a very large mammal their throat was very small.The little girl stated Jonah was swallowed by a whale.The teacher reiterated a whale could notswallow a human; it was impossible.The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

~~~~~

The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mic, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mic cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again.After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered,"If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"

~~~~~

At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, Johnny what is the matter? Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

~~~~~Lord, our families don't come to us perfect or even as we dream them to be, so thank You for allowing us to let You guide us into loving unconditionally.

She's baaack (hopefully without the aack!)

Well, here I am again...what a "ride" that was...lots of challenges, prayers and of course, smooching the three little ones!

Surprisingly, there was a lot of time for prayer (guess you squeeze in things when you really want to) which was very needed when Ria told me what she did (that will be tomorrow's post...is this like one of those mysteries where the heroine is on the edge of the cliff and you have to wait until the next day?)

Well, Blogspot is not cooperating and won't let me upload any more pictures...guess it isn't "striving to be a saint on Sunday"!! This means you have to use your imaginations (something film makers don't let us do anymore) and picture a load of mail a mile high (or at least a few inches). Michael is so sweet, he saves it all for me, so these treasures like 'please send me money because I found a flea on my dog', 'here are a few more bazillion address labels for you (which may or may not have your name spelled right) so send money fast', 'you may have won something and we're not sure what so please send us a check', 'your long lost relative from another galaxy has left you an inheritance that has so many zeros after it we ran out of paper so please send us a check for the paper so we can send you some more long lost relative inheritances' and then a smattering of bills and they don't even try to charm me unless there is charm in 'pay by this date or you will be in the dark both mentally and physically'.

Both Michael and Kelly worked to have the front and back yard looking almost like a cover for Better Homes and Gardens, so hooray for those sweetie pies! Need to take some pictures (so I can frustrate myself when Blogspot won't upload them for me!).

OK, here is a goofy joke that made both Michael and me laugh:

Ventriloquist
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.

Suddenly, a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting, 'I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? Its guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as a person.
You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!'

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, 'You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee.'

P.S. Not only did I miss all of you, but I checked up on you via Ria's mother-in-law's PC, but I couldn't leave comments, although I really wanted to...especially when I saw Eileen's cute little "Marcy's gone AWOL" post...that brought a huge smile to my face as well as a little happiness tear!

~~~Thank You dear Lord, for turning difficult situations into prayerful situations and for all the safe departures and arrivals You give us.

Later Alligator, Bye for Awhile Crocodile, See you soon

Well, I am answering a "call to duty", an extension of what Mother's Day is all about, even when our children are grown. Of course there are some great rewards, as I will be able to smooch and spoil my three grandchildren...it would be sweetest if my Michael could have come along, though.

I will be heading today to south Georgia for six days, to help my oldest daughter as they finalize and move into their new home...fortunately, through Ria's great budgeting and saving skills, they are able to take advantage of today's buyer's market and finally get their own home, what a blessing.

Installing a Carpet

A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.'' ''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my cell phone.''.

Clean those restrooms

On her way home from a long trip, a blonde drove past a sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES."By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.

Get me an ambulance now

A man, after being hurt, calls 911 for help.

Man: Operator, operator, call me an ambulance!

Operator: Okay, sir, you're an ambulance!

I will sorely miss my wonderful blogger friends while I am gone. If possible, I will at least try to read and get online, but Ria only has the use of her mother-in-law's PC now, so time and opportunity will hinge on what I can do. Please know that, as always (hmmm...maybe I never mentioned this before?) that I will be praying for all of you as I do everyday.

So please remember to find your oases in your hearts and souls if I can't give you this little oasis here from the stresses and trials of this world. Prayer is a wonderful answer to all of this!!

A missing person

Recently, a distraught wife went to the local police station, along with her next-door neighbor, to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description of the missing man.The wife said, "He is 35 years old, 6-foot 4-inches, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children."The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5-foot 8-inches, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children."The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"

~~~Thank you Lord for the blessings of friends and family, even when we can't be close to them by word or touch.

********The Moment**********

Today (and tomorrow) is going to be so busy for me that I have been trying to plan out all that needs to be done and what I have time for and what I don't. Then I realized that there will be NO captured moments if I don't let God help me with this day, so instead of jumping out of bed and starting on all those "things", I stayed in bed and said a rosary. That takes me about half an hour, so as I was praying, I was also asking God to let me be in this moment and make it the best moment. It worked, it was and now the day is started right!
In spite of this 'to do' list, I am going to 'stop' to go look at our garden and 'stop' to play cards with my hubby and 'stop' to be extra aware of the people I meet as I go out to accomplish so much and put in extra effort to be kind when others are not (is it okay to still make faces, Lord, especially if they can't see me?)

It is going to be such a busy day that it's super important that I need to treasure each moment and not let it become a blur. Crazy as it may seem, I have found that I can get more done this way instead of rushing around like a crazed maniac and having to re-trace my footsteps to re-do something because I'm trying to be the pilot when God should be...steps of trust need to be taken as He takes over the 'controls'.

Here is a motivating and "slowing down" quote:

"Words of inspiration lift the spirit, boost morale and nudge you in the direction you want to go. No two people are inspired quite the same way, and what inspires is as unique as the sound of your laughter. No two people are inspired quite the same way. One person’s inspiration may come from reading a book, poem or quote. Another may be inspired by music, the sound of children’s laughter or silence that encourages reflective thinking."

Now, for a very appropriate joke about trusting God to take care of things:

The Fall

A man named Jack was walking along a steep cliff one day, when he accidentally got too close to the edge and fell.

On the way down he grabbed a branch, which temporarily stopped his fall. He looked down and to his horror saw that the canyon fell straight down for more than a thousand feet. He couldn't hang onto the branch forever, and there was no way for him to climb up the steep wall of the cliff.

So Jack began yelling for help, hoping that someone passing by would hear him and lower a rope or something. HELP! HELP! Is anyone up there? "HELP!" He yelled for a long time, but no one heard him.

He was about to give up when he heard a voice. Jack, Jack. Can you hear me?" "Yes, yes! I can hear you. I'm down here!" "I can see you, Jack. Are you all right?" "Yes, but who are you, and where are you? "I am the Lord, Jack. I'm everywhere."

"The Lord? You mean, GOD?" "That's Me." "God, please help me! I promise if, you'll get me down from here, I'll stop sinning. I'll be a really good person. I'll serve You for the rest of my life."

"Easy on the promises, Jack. Let's get you off from there; then we can talk." "Now, here's what I want you to do. Listen carefully." "I'll do anything, Lord. Just tell me what to do."

"Okay. Let go of the branch.""What?" "I said, let go of the branch. Just trust Me. Let go."

There was a long silence.

Finally Jack yelled, "HELP! HELP! IS ANYONE ELSE UP THERE?"

~~~~For the blessings of getting the chance to re-start a day when things get too hectic or go wrong, I thank You Lord.

May All Who Are Mothers Or Have Mothered, Be Blessed Today

First and foremost I would like to pay tribute to the greatest mother of all, the mother of our Saviour, Jesus...Happiest of Mother's days, Mother Mary!

Yesterday I received a wonderfully loving blessing from my marvelous son, Mario who, along with his lovely wife Brande and two gorgeous children, live in Arizona.

He picked this beautiful floral arrangement that also included the lovely cup and saucer for me and it is so perfect as I have a friend who said that it is important to have a special cup and saucer to have a special drink in, be it tea or hot chocolate (in my case), so I bought one for myself but it wasn't "special". Finally, I have a special one...thank you son, I love you beyond words (not for this but because you are you!).

Next, to all of you wonderful mothers (or women who have mothered any living creature(...hmmm, think even husbands qualify under this) who post and share your love with the rest of us. Thank you for your caring and sharing and forbearing (there is a poet in me, isn't there?)

How about some lovely random pictures of a precious baby hand in the mommy's? Or a little girl loving God's snow? Or even the garden wishing us a Happy Mother's Day (never saw this one before)?

To all of you ladies:

M...is for My mother Kathryn, such sweet, tender memories she brings

O...is for how the love for our children makes us Overdo all things

T...is for the (hopefully many) Times we thanked God above

H...is for all the Happiness that comes from this love

E...is for the Earth, so important to "mother" her too

R...is for all the Rewards and blessings I wish on all of you!

Now, for any of us who have thought maybe we fall short of being the best mother, this humorous (and actually, kinda sad) list below will make you feel like you did a great job (unless, of course one of you wrote one of these...my advice, just shhhhhhh!)

Scary But True (or scary because it's true)

"These are real notes written by parents in a U.S. school district.
Spellings have been left intact.

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot..

3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today.. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had dyrea direa the the poops.

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.

16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines..

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids.
(The kids are probably screaming for their parents to be educated. ) "

~~~What blessings we have to thank You for Heavenly Father, the incredible gift of caring and nurturing that You instilled in us!

Appearances are/can be Deceiving

When you see this picture below, from last year, of TinkaBelle, you may think (correctly) that she absolutely loves water and her swimming pool. So it is possible to jump to the conclusion that she can swim (which most dogs seem to be able to do), but then it would be WRONG! We learned this the hard way while in our neighbor's backyard. Michael and I went down to the far end of her big backyard when I casually looked back for Tinka, who was standing near the pool while we walked away...there was No Tinka, so we rushed to the pool and there she was...head barely up and tail pointing straight down (this is not one dog you want to rescue you at sea). Michael grabbed her and pulled her out...I'm not sure who was more shaken up...Tinkabelle or us!

Now, in this picture you might assume that Tinkabelle is a party animal and...you would be right! BUT she doesn't like this dressing up business even though she may look "enthralled" here.

This picture was posted before, but bears repeating because one could be judgemental here as well and think...hmmm, Michael has found a new woman (or Michael is nuts) and only one of those statements would be true! Much as he likes Haggatha (he even named her), he is sticking with his redhead and agreeing that there are a few screws loose in his head.

Finally, I leave you with a puppy picture of TinkaBelle all dressed up (this was a huge challenge) in a matching scarf and dress (Michael and she had a wrestling match here) and as happy as she doesn't look...you are right, 100% right on this one, no "deception".

It is not only our eyes that deceive us at times, but our other senses come into play, too. We often judge by smell (too much perfume/after shave, too little) or sound (too shrill, too haughty) or touch (too rough, too slick)...yes, there is a point here. I had a really good friend but if I hadn't been in her prayer group and just met her at church, I probably would have shied away from her (and missed out on great Christian sharing) as she wore lots and I mean LOTS of perfume (with my sensitive nose, I did hug her, but at times, 'cautiously'). Another almost missed opportunity would have been my terrific friend Nancy...what I mistook for haughty and a "no one matters that much" attitude was really a super busy, preoccupied with doing so much at once problem (I was trying to get supplies from her for teaching a Confirmation class). As for rough and slick, I would have missed out on great, but rough handshakes, the feel of wood etc. etc. MY lesson was to be open no matter what the visual or senses say, so that God can do His work in this world and me.

Although this joke is cute, I'll bet the Christian lady did nothing to bring the atheist closer to believing in God!

Praise the Lord!

There's a little old Christian lady living next door to an atheist. Every morning the lady comes out onto her front porch and shouts "Praise the Lord!".
The atheist yells back, "There is no God".
She does this every morning with the same result. As time goes on, the lady runs into financial difficulties and has trouble buying food. She goes out onto the porch and asks God for help with groceries, then says "Praise the Lord".
The next morning she goes out onto the porch and there's the groceries she asked for, and of course, she shouts "Praise the Lord!!!".
The atheist jumps out from behind a bush and says, "Ha, I bought those groceries - there is no God".
The lady looks at him and smiles, she shouts "Praise the Lord, not only did you provide for me Lord, you made Satan pay for the groceries!!"

I've been trying to like this bottom joke more, but even the site where I got it only rated it a 3 on a scale of 5. Maybe with some tweaking, sort of like you have to do with some recipes?

Brownie recipe
Here's a recipe to make Mom's famous brownies!
Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.
Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan.
Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Jr "no, no."
Add margarine to 2 cups sugar.
Take shortening can away from Jr and clean cupboards.
Measure 1/3 cup cocoa.
Take shortening can away from Billy again and bathe cat.
Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from cat's tail.
Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour.
Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for ventilation.
Take telephone away from Jr. and assure party on the line the call was a mistake. Call operator and attempt to have direct dialed call removed from bill.
Measure 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 cup nuts and beat all ingredients well.
Let cat out of refrigerator.
Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13 inch pan. Bake 25 minutes.
Rescue cat and take razor away from Billy.
Explain to kids that you have no idea if shaved cats will sunburn.
Throw cat outside while there's still time and he's still able to run away.
Frosting--Mix the following in saucepan: 1 cup sugar 1 oz unsweetened chocolate 1/4 cup margarine.
Take the %$$&#&% teddy bear out of the @#$% broiler and throw it away -- far away.
Answer the door and meekly explain to nice policeman that you didn't know Jr had slipped out of the house and was heading for the street.
Put Jr. in playpen.
Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly for 2 minutes.
Answer door and apologize to neighbor for Billy having stuck a garden hose in man's front door mail slot. Promise to pay for ruined carpet.
Tie Billy to clothesline.
Remove burned brownies from oven.

~~~Thank you Lord for blessing/teaching us the ways in which we are blind and for opening our eyes.